Chapter Nine
“How did it go?” Samantha called me as soon as I had pulled out of their driveway. I pushed the speaker button.
“Isn’t patience a virtue? What kind of example are you setting for those children of yours?” I teased, hoping to give myself a bit longer to think.
“I am patient! You walked for over an hour! You’re lucky I didn’t corner you the moment you walked through the door!”
She was right. I was lucky.
“So?”
“So what?” I shouldn’t be so mean to my wonderful friend, but it was just too
much fun.
“I’m going to hunt you down...”
“Fine, fine... it went fine.”
“Fine? That’s all you have to say for yourself? I give you the perfect man on a
plate, and you say ‘fine’?”
The phone was silent, and I bit my lip as I turned onto the main road.
“Okay, well. Samantha, the thing is, I don’t know if I’m ready. It has nothing to
do with him. He was the perfect gentleman, made me laugh, and I enjoyed talking with him but...” I closed my eyes for a moment before turning my attention back to the road.
“But...” Samantha calmly reminded me.
“But I felt like I was betraying Jack. I know, I know, that’s crazy but it, well. Maybe it’s just too soon for me. Maybe I’m not as healed as I thought.” My voice trailed off as I considered my own state of mind.
“Sweetheart, I understand. I’m sorry if I pushed you into something you weren’t ready for.”
“No, Samantha, don’t worry about that. It’s me, all on me, okay?”
“Honey when are you going to realize that you shouldering the guilt for everything will never fix anything? That’s Jack’s training, not God’s.”
She was right. It’s amazing how much one person can mess up another.
“Just do me a favor, okay, honey?” Samantha asked.
“Of course.”
“Pray about this, and if it’s God shutting the door, then we praise him for an
answer. But if it’s fear... don’t lose this chance. Alright?” “Alright. Thanks Samantha.”
“You’re welcome. Oh! I almost forgot!”
“Yes?”
“He asked me for your number, something about forgetting to ask you and well, what should I say?”
The dilemma made me pause. It’s not that I didn’t like him. If I were being honest, the problem was that I liked him too much, too quickly, and I didn’t trust myself. But I needed time to think, time to pray.
“For right now Samantha, just don’t give it, is that okay?” “Of course honey. Of course. Drive safe! We love you.” “Love you guys too. Thanks Samantha. Bye.”
“Bye.”
****
When I got home my answering machine was blinking red, and my cell had seven missed calls, all from my family. How everyone knew was a mystery. It had to be my sister’s fault. She was the only one I spoke with even mentioning meeting Levi today. She would pay, dearly. We ate and the boys played in the living room while I cleaned up. All the while the machine blinked, causing me to glance over at it every few minutes. My cell phone had begun to ring again shortly after dinner, and I knew I was on borrowed time till someone stopped by to make sure I was still alive and breathing.
With a resigned sigh, I got the boys bathed and into bed. The door to Javan’s room clicked shut, and I heard a car pull into the driveway.
As I passed the kitchen, I started the coffee pot and went to answer the gentle knock on the door.
“Hi Grandma.”
“Honey! We were so worried! We’re all just dying to hear about your little visit and when you didn’t answer, why...” She trailed off and entered the room, my grandpa following close behind. I motioned for them to sit at the table.
“Okay, spill.” My grandma nodded as she settled her little rump into the chair, wiggling to settle herself. My grandpa grinned like a schoolboy behind her. I held up my finger as I answered the phone. Mom.
“Okay mom, yes, they’re here. Okay. Hold on.”
I placed the phone on speaker and put it in the middle of the table.
“Okay, this will make it so I don’t have to repeat it a thousand times.”
“This isn’t good.” My grandma loudly whispered to my grandpa, who nodded. “This isn’t good!” She shouted loudly as she leaned over the table toward my cell
phone.
I heard my mom let out a large sigh that buzzed over the cell speaker. I should
be sainted for resisting the temptation to roll my eyes.
“No, it’s not bad mom, grandma, grandpa. It was fine. He’s a great guy, but I
don’t think it’s going to turn into anything exciting. Sorry guys.” A collective sigh escaped my family.
“Why not honey?” Mom said. The question hung in the air, and I took a deep breath.
“Because I don’t know if I’m just too terrified of making the same mistake twice or if God’s saying no because I’m not ready.”
“I see.” My grandma nodded. “We’ll pray,” Mom said.
“I need it guys. I need it.” After a pause, my mom chimed back in. “Okay, I’m going to hang up now and call your sister and cousin. My own phone has been burning up with the texts from them. Love you baby. It’ll all work out in God’s time. Don’t worry.”
Easier said than done.
“Love you too Mom, bye.”
The phone clicked, and I glanced at my grandparents.
“Honey, I can understand your hesitation. If you didn’t hesitate I’d be concerned.
We’ll be praying too.” She took a sip of her coffee. “I’m assuming my darling great grandbabies are in bed?”
“Yeah, sorry.” I reached across the table and patted her wrinkled yet perfectly manicured hand.
“Not a worry, it just gives us an excuse to come back tomorrow!” She spoke cheerily. “Come along Papa.”
She helped my gentle grandfather out the door as she blew me kisses. His walker jingled with little trinkets some of the great grandkids had given him.
I smiled as they left, thankful to be so loved. Even though I was a single mom now, sometimes alone wasn’t really alone. Not when you had family.
