A Toy With Wings

Four

Shit. Shitty shitting shit. Stupid fucking shit. (Yes, I am this creative when it comes to cussing. Get used to it.)

Who would have guessed that on the day I finally qualified as a field agent, I would be partnered with stupid, stinking, jerkass, fucking Evangeline Youngspire?

I am so officially pissed.

Evangeline catches my eye and smirks, before flipping her dark hair over her shoulder.

Show-off.

"Do you accept?" asked the All-Father once more.

Everyone accepts, and I'm last. Because I didn't want to be stuck with Evangeline. But I did anyway.

I hate this shit system.

"A few more things," the All-Father drones on. "One, you must make up a codename for yourself. Tell me the codes now, if possible."

Bono began. "Can I be Captain Angelica?"

The girls in the room snort with laughter. Even the All-Father suppresses a smile. "Something more...common, please, Mr Rabidgrip Number Two?"

"I'll be...," Jezebel the punk muses. "I'll be Charlotte '''Charlie''' Verona, then."

"Very good, Miss Chesterfield," says the All-Father, taking a note. "Any more?"

Jay is Cole Palmer. Kevin becomes Jeremiah Aviator. Vanilla calls herself Rosemary Wolverine. Bono wants to be Bonoman. His codename was turned down.

My codename is Black Jack, because of my mahogany skin, my black hair and my favourite colour for 'black', and my middle name for 'jack'.

For some reason, Evangeline's codename is Diana Artemis Chase, which is a bit of a cliche, because all three words technically mean 'hunter'. Hers is accepted, though.

Bono asks to be called The Gweat N Powerfo Emberor of da Sacred Winged Crest (and absalootely fantastic Emblem) of da Fantastically Awesome Super Duper Luper Kuper Secret Organization of da Fantastically Awesome Super Duper Luper Kuper Secret Angels.

(Spoilers: it is accepted [see the next part])

Guess if his codename is accepted. Or maybe I shouldn't write the answer in bold, underline ↑, and above.

Well, shit. Guess I mixed up again. But God who fucking cares?

We are assigned different parts of the country to investigate.

"Anson, Julian, you two scout the woodlands. Strange sightings have been reported there."

"Yes, sir," two voices chanted.

"Jay, Bono, you two are for the marsh."

The brothers grinned. "No devils will be free under our watch, sir," said Jay.

"Thank you, Mr Rabidgrip Number One. As I was saying, Brittany and Vanilla, we need you to check out the White Hills. Suspicion is arousing that the devils have built a fort of some sort there.

"Kevin and Jezebel, you two try and track down the devils in the gorges. And Evangeline and Orson..."

"Yes, sir?" Evangeline asked, sitting up straight.

"You will be checking out the coal mining caves near the shore! All of you! You leave tonight! Am I clear?"

"Yes, sir!"

Wait...mining caves? They might collapse at any moment? Why do I have to get the worst jobs?

Fucking shit!

As soon as we left, I tried to ignore Evangeline. Honestly, I don't know how to stand her for so long.

"Um...excuse us?"

Evangeline and I whirled around to see the punk girl and her apprentice.

"Jezebel, right? And Kevin? What do you guys want?" I ask.

"Just asking, could we, maybe, team up?" Kevin asked, smoothing down the front of his white tunic. It really compliments his blond hair and turquoise eyes. "The gorges are pretty close to the mining caves, and in a showdown, a party of four would be better than a party of two."

Before I can open my mouth to protest, Evangeline smiles her annoying smile, and says, "It's a deal."

Evangeline is officially a fucking bitch.

I head back to the library, just to loosen the pounding inside my head, and guess what. I'm once again stalked by little psychopaths. Just my usual cheerful, cheerful day.

"Orson? Where is Miss Melody?"

"She's busy," I lie. "What do you want, Whoodie?"

"Can you tell us the story of Beauty and the Beast?"

"Oh shit, just my luck."

"Orson, what does 'shit' mean again?" asked Noodi. He's so innocent.

"I told you, its a word you don't say to others," I sigh.

"Come on, Orson! What does the word mean?" Noodi pestered.

"It's what you little shits call 'pee-pee'. I hope you're happy."

"That's not very nice!" protested Judy.

"Well, I'm big and bad. I can do whatever I want."

"Then I'm the fairy godmother and I turn you into a beast!" yells Büdi, but he's not very threatening.

"Speaking of beasts," requests Hoodie, "can you tell us the story of Beauty and the Beast?"

Fine. They win.

"Once upon a time, there was a dude that had sleek black hair tied back in a ponytail, and a very fashionable red coat. Frankly speaking, he looks like a fucking girl, and his name was Ass-ton. Ass-ton was madly in love with a gal called Belle..."

"Question. Is Ass-ton homosexual?" asked Noodi.

Fuck, these kids don't get anything!

Any requests for original fairy tales? ;-)

T.C.