"Another Chance"

Special Chapter

Carly's P.O.V

Ever since I witnessed Blyx's miserable and horrible life... I locked myself up. She did all of those things to me... because she loved me. Her childhood. Her parents. Nothing. All I saw was her always alone and getting bullied at. She was always alone. She was suffering but I... didn't noticed it. I hated her... I hated her the entire time she was suffering and I feel guilty. I locked up myself inside her room and cry until I passed out. It's been two years and I've managed to just get out of her room and just roam around the house. The house she grew up in alone.

She gave me the inheritance of her company even though it was supposed to be hers! She's too good to be true. I can't believe I wasted someone who loved me so dearly. She saved me a lot of times while I saved my hatred towards her that time. Every corner of the room, I swear she tried to kill herself. She's tried to commit suicide a lot of times but never to actually do it. And the only thing she'll say to stop herself is... "I still have to confess to Carly and say sorry." which always sends me to cry again. Haven't eaten a proper meal in two years.

Her childhood hurts me a lot. Seeing her being bullied. Seeing her being gossiped even if she was there and was still a kid, didn't help much either. I admired her just smiling at her enemies and locks herself up at home. When highschool came, she changed her warm smile. The sweet Blyx was replaced and was hidden inside those tall walls. Our history then began. Now, I understand why. And I hated it. I hated not knowing that I'm already making her suffer. What I've been through wasn't even half of what she experienced.

She was right about Jerdon even from the start. Why didn't I even believed her in the first place? Right! Because I was too ignorant and hated her! I'm starting to wonder why she puts herself behind me when I'm this selfish. I start on wondering how she loved me. I hated myself when I feel so hopeless. When I cry, I would go to her closet and smell her natural scent. I grabbed one of her pajama's and hugged them all night then cried myself to sleep. I can't describe how much I miss her.

Then, just a single night. A single night and she died. She endured all of those. Letting herself get raped. She'd walk ahead of me and check if there would be thugs. I could see how tired she was but as stupid as she is, she would always smile when she looks back at me and saw that I was fine. Then, she'd do the same again. I cursed myself if I unconsciously knew that she was there and made her suffer. I know that the neigborhood I live in was dangerous and yet I kept on walking. She even blamed herself for Chris' fault. She always blamed herself. Then, when she saw me entered the house, she heaved a heavy sigh and was gonna return to her house when I came back out. I was wearing my earphones then so I didn't really hear or recognized that it was a gunshot since I blasted off my eardrums. She let herself get raped for me to be pure. She used herself to shield me from the bullet. She threw the knife for him to not take another shot towards me. She killed another person just to protect and save me. She really did die for me. I even felt happy after I heard the news that she died. How I cried that night.... wasn't enough.

The moment I knew that my mother knows this and didn't tell me anything about it, made me feel guilty. That last day she spent with us, their cries, they were crying. The one thing I can't have is a complete family. Blyx's thoughts... it felt worse than a gunshot. I'm gonna miss her. Her thoughts made me cry in agony. That last day she cooked us a meal... it brought me misery. This is so deviate of me but I know that if I really did marry Carly, this will be everyday. Every thought... is engraved in my heart. I'm not gonna have sex with her, just gonna satisfy her. I want to but I'll be gone and I can't take responsibility. Every thought left a big hole in my heart. Carly, you don't know how much those words mean to me right now. I feel so happy. I really love this side of her. Always thinking about the positive side. Carly... I love you, with a heavy heart. I seemed to think that since they were big holes then I might've as well lost my heart due to the holes. That time before she collapsed.... a certain conversation with her guide...