Her Sacrifice

First Date

I woke up on Saturday morning early. I always do. I can go to bed at 4 a.m. and I will still be up by 8. I'm a little bit OCD. Just so you know in case my actions and reactions seem a little strange to you as the story unfolds. In a word, I am broken. Painfully shy, I hate crowds, school, discipline, rules and people in general. I have very few friends. I love to skate board. I used to draw and switched to computer graphics when freehand frustrated me. That's about it. That's me in an instant so to speak.

She is beautiful, talented. So much fucking talent she puts me in awe sometimes with the things she does. She is broken too, not the same ways I am, but broken never the less. I could give you a list of how she got that way, but I am not her and I respect her privacy. (baka. [her])If she wants to tell you, she is free to add to this story, and who knows. She might if you comment and ask her. ( she: ask and I might tell)

Saturday we spent talking. I love talking to her. Maybe I like it too much. I never shut up and I was always wondering why she puts up with it. I've lived in the South USA all my life, and I guess it's cultural thing. Silence is not golden in my world. Silence is deadly. It means you are bored, distracted, distant.. could be many things, but trust me. None of them are good.

We were still learning to flirt. She is my first relationship, I am hers. There was a lot of exploring going on. Searching for lines, limits, boundaries. As we explored further and pushed the lines out, scaled walls and burst through each others doors like firemen fighting a house fire, we were learning a lot about each other. That of course is playing with fire of a different kind.

One thing led to another. I am still not sure who started what or how. Could of been me, could have been her. It's not important. Sparks ignited into a roaring furnace. Electricity flowed in waves through my body and things got carried away until finally there was an explosion. Took me weeks to clean up the mess.
(I'm not sorry, and it was I who started it.[her])(She is so devious sometimes[him])

So now you know. I fell for her that first afternoon we met. I fell in love with her the following day. Don't tell her though. I don't want her to know how fast she won me over. ( i had already known [her])I would like some things about me to remain a mystery. I try to do that, keep some things about me quiet, not share everything. I try and I am a failure. She knows everything about me. She knows every scar and how I got it. She knows what I eat, when I sleep and what I wear to bed. She is much better at keeping secrets from me than I am from her, but she shares a lot. I am happy. (I'm a Pisces [her])

It's not the end of the story, far from it. We have lots more to go, and I promise you things will get more interesting, so read further. Enjoy. Please leave comments if you learned anything, if you didn't, if I bored you to tears or what ever. I would like to hear from you and learn what you think so far. Until the next chapter.. later!