Avengers x Reader Oneshots

You get drunk (Steve)

"Steve. Calm down. I'm not going to get drunk off my ass." You said annoyed. Steve sighed. "Okay, A: I don't wan't to be a party pooper, B: I know as well as you do that you cannot hold your liquor, and C: I really do not want to have to carry you out of the party." He finished. You scoffed. "Okay, A: who even uses the phrase 'party pooper' anymore?, B: I can hold my liquor very well thank you, and C: You won't have to carry me unless my feet hurt in these heels." You shot back. Steve shook his head and sighed. "I warned her, I did warn her." He mutters to himself as he walked off.

*Three hours later*

Steve was currently talking to Sam about a mission last week when you staggered up to him holding two shots of vodka. You plonked next to him. He turned to look at you. "Jesus." He muttered. "Nope, just me." You responded. Sam snorted into his drink and Steve glared at him. "Anyway twinkle toes, you looked like you were having a 'riveting' conversation about patriotism or whatever but I got you a drink, because you looked like you needed one." You said as you took his larger hand and wrapped it around one of the shots of vodka. "Ready? Okay!" You yelled as you slammed down the shot. "No wait- Oh God." Steve protested. "Come on Cap. Don't leave a girl waitin!" You winked. He looked at the shot in your hand and then at you. "No." He stated. "Pleeeeeeaaaaase. Come on! Don't be a party pooperrrr." Steve raised an eyebrow at you. "Now who's using an outdated phrase." He muttered. You whined and clambered onto his lap, slightly spilling the drink in his hand. He sighed and looked at you. "You're not going to stop bugging me are you?" "Nope." You smiled. He shook his and downed the drink. You stared at him expectantly. "How may drinks have you had so far?" You asked cocking your head. Steve looked confused  and replied, "I think that was my fifth one." You gasped. "How are you not drunk! I've only had..." you held your hand trying to count on your fingers. "Two drinks." You said holding up six fingers. Sam burst out laughing. Steve sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "How is this not affecting you? Are you even a little bit tipsy?" You said incredulously. "Nope. Must be to do with the whole super soldier enhancement. " You giggled and hiccuped. Steve stared at you. "What?" He said. You leaned in closer. "I bet that's not the only thing that's enhanced right?" Steve's face turned beet red. Sam managed to compose himself for a second, then burst back into tears. "Aaaand we're going home now." Steve finalised. He stood up and didn't bother asking you as he picked you up effortlessly and slung you carefully over his shoulder. "Seeya Sam." He sighed. Sam saluted him. "Good luck dorito." Steve turned to glare at Sam.