New Skin

Part 5: The Party

The party was a disaster. I arrived late. Everyone was already sectioned off into little groups. I stood out like Chewbacca at a Star Trek Convention. I walked straight to a chair in the corner and watched like I always did. I wished I could have brought my notebook, but I didn't want to look more peculiar than I already did.

I kept telling myself, one more minute and I'm going to leave. An hour went by. I was just about to give up, but then I spotted Kayla and Casper on the steps. They were in the shadows, but I could still see them. They were not paying any attention to me, and I watched as Casper's hand disappeared up Kayla's dress. Kayla tilted her head back in a laugh, but Casper continued ogling her. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

He reached for Kayla's scarf and tried to playfully remove it, but she caught it and held it in place, her face inches from his. He looked like he wanted to devour Kayla and it made me sick to my stomach, but I didn't know why. Then, Casper buried his head in her hair. I shook my head in disgust. I couldn't believe that Kayla was with him. He was as much of a douche as Chuck, probably more seeing as he was hooking up with his missing best friend's girl. And what did that make Kayla?

Just then Kayla grabbed the back of Casper's hair and held him to her in a hug. Her lips parted, and she slowly, she scanned the room. I tried to look away, but before I could, Kayla made eye contact. Her stare was intense, and slowly, like a snake moving gently through the water, her tongue caressed the top of her lip. She watched me watching her. Her mouth broke into a smile. It was enough to break me out of my trance, and I shot up and darted out of the room. I made my way through the back door and to the empty back yard. I heard the door catch behind me, and when I turned around, Kayla was there. I looked around. There was nowhere to escape to.

"What's wrong?" she asked, stepping closer, into the night.

"Nothing." I was shaking but I didn't want Kayla to see. "I shouldn't have come here." I stepped away.

"You're not mad are you?" she asked. I paused. I wasn't sure what I was feeling. I confused. Maybe a little mad. And though I wouldn't admit it to anyone, just a little jealous. I wasn't sure why though.

"No, it's just that... your boyfriend is missing and now you're making out with his best friend. Do you think that's wise?" I took another step back.

Kayla stepped forward, slowly, as though she was trying not to scare me. "I'm not worried. It takes a lot to worry me. Why, are you?" She kept moving closer.

I stepped back and stumbled on a hole in the backyard. "Well, never mind what I said about you not leading your flock," I blurted out, unable to control my feelings. "Bravo! You are becoming more like yourself again," I turned around angrily and stalked through the trees that separated this yard from the next.

"Lani, wait," Kayla said, grabbing my wrist. I didn't realize she was right behind me. She had moved so quickly. We were alone in the darkness, and even though I came to the party because of Kayla, I was nervous being alone with her and I didn't know why.

"Lani, don't be mad. That's just the physical fun stuff. It's not true feelings. Anyway, you don't understand what it's like to have this body." She ran her hand down her side to her thigh. I watched her caress herself, feeling even more uncomfortable. I didn't understand what she was talking about. "It's like going through puberty time and time again, hormones racing... and not just girl or boy hormones, but both." Kayla pulled me in by my wrist. She pulled my arm behind her back and she was so close, that I could feel the heat of her body in the cool night air. "Anyway, Casper is a tool," she whispered.

I regained my breath, and managed to force words out. "Then what are you doing with him? And why did you invite me?" I tried to pull away, but I couldn't. I was like a magnet, unable to resist Kayla's pull.

Kayla gently placed her hand on the back of my neck. I flinched at the touch and scrunched my eyebrows at her to show her that I had no idea what she was doing. I tried to back away, but Kayla smiled. "Don't be scared Lani." She pulled me in. I was now close enough to see her eyes. In the darkness, with only one lone yard light, Kayla's eyes were mirrors, void of any life of their own. I couldn't pull myself away and even though it didn't seem possible, Kayla moved closer and I could taste her spearmint breath.

"I..." I stumbled for words, but Kayla's soft lips pressed on my own. All of my thoughts escaped my head as I felt the gentle pressure of Kayla's hand on my neck and the caress of Kayla's moist, sweet lips. And then Kayla pulled away.

I put my head down, immediately embarrassed. "It's okay," Kayla said gently, pulling my chin up. "There is nothing to be embarrassed about. You're not alone anymore." She smiled, and it was an honest smile.

"I... I better get home." I turned and made my way through the neighbor's yard. It was only a short walk to my house. I quietly shut the front door, so I wouldn't have to talk to my parents and tip toed up to my room. I fell on my bed and grabbed my notebook from underneath. I began to scribble madly. I was so confused. I thought that I had been attracted to many boys, but the feeling that I had when Kayla kissed me was something I had never felt before.

When I thought about it, my breath caught again and my stomach jumped. It was wrong to feel this way. Kayla was different, but she seemed more real to me than the old Kayla had ever been. I remembered that she had said something really confusing, but I couldn't even remember what it was. I turned out the light and lay back down, fully clothed. The kiss replayed over and over as I drifted off.

50h/