sex.
You think sex is just a thing that goes with life A simple thing you do to have fun. You undress fuck and you leave There’s nothing to lose nothing that hurts. But to me you’re an idiot.To me sex is a passion not a pass time. You’ve got something to lose. A line of innocence a mixture of pain and nerves. Butterflies that collect for no reason settle in my stomach but you cannot see it. Im not trying to stop you darling but this thing you do, isn’t as simple as you’d like to believe. Some boys like you see it like a medal. Don’t take is slow they just go not caring if it hurts. You can’t take this gift of mine that is only mine to give. You can’t convince me if you deserve it I’ll know it when, and if you do. And you say come on just do it get it over with. But it’s not something you get over with. My mind is scared but you won’t take the patients to calm me. Make me feel safe and comfortable. And if you want someone who isn’t afraid well go. Im not stopping you go like you would if I would let you fast and quick get it over with because im not ready and boys never stop asking. And you say fine but I say no. and I watch you go. Sex isn’t something that you do for the first time in the back of a car. Sex isn’t something you lose in your twin bed before your parents get home. No so just go. I don’t want it from you, you don’t need it from me. You’ve pushed me far but not like this. Im naive and this make me nervous and uncomfortable. I want someone to teach me at my pace. I want to have my own space. I want to hear them back off when I say no. and go ahead when I say so. Consent is something I tell you you don’t keep asking. So use your words in this spare time talk to me lets be intimate in the way we talk. Elegance in speech and sexiness in words. Nothing to lose but our secrets. I may be a virgin innocent and scared of stepping over that line. But someone out there is okay with that. And they say “it’s alright darling” rather then someone who just wants you to do.
