Ugly face
Great music taste
Eyes of glittering gold
But hands to cold
He told me he didn’t like to hold them.
With eyes that looked through my innocence
I thought I saw caring, and love but it was an act
His eyes played this game to many times
That his mouth knew all the lines to make his face look like my future
Like looking into a magic mirror I imagined Sunday mornings him
Looking at me the same way, or on weekdays, game days, hard days, half days, lazy days
On every day he loved the way I looked he loved the way he felt with me.
But you know what; he doesn’t look at me the same.
And I can’t stand to be in the same room
Because he follows her around like shadows chases her
Like how each wave chases the other and I follow him…
But no one follows me the way he used to and it kills me
Claws at my heart leaving it wounded every time
I avoid almost every day I have to see him
I avoid the lunch room and I wait a little later
Between classes because even in a crowed
Of all 1000 people in this damn school my eyes are a magnet to yours
But for some reason you think we are the same charge
And together we repeal which is why you look away.
You don’t look at me the same.
And I hate that I hate avoiding you. Because I so long to see you
I hope your eyes light up the same
And they look at me like that perfect night
Where we sat in your car behind work
And you just looked at me. Fireworks went off
And im not being cliché there were literal fireworks
It was a fourth of July town celebration
And I sat there in your car.
And you played me like the radio
That so sweetly and softly played a song I thought would be our song
You know like in the movies where they have their first kiss
And everything is perfect
Well its not.
I want to scream and kick and kiss and love you every time I see you
And you think the same about someone else
And im sure you’re tough to handle this
And the other day I saw you
I couldn’t handle it tears spilled out and I left the room
You came over to me
Once I was back and looking at me making my eyes sting.
You asked me if I was crying…
And I said no. because I wasn’t crying
I was hurting I was breaking down
I was letting the voices that were held in my ribcage
Besides my heart sing their unspoken song
And you didn’t believe me
How can I tell you what was wrong?
How could I look you in the face?
With your friendly caring eyes and realize
It’s not what I saw before. Or realize it’s exactly what I saw before.
Just friends. Our three days
Where I admitted to you how I had a crush on you
And you humiliated me three days later. I lied. I did want to be with you.
And no ‘what if’ hangs in my head like you
What if we kissed that night?
What If my phone died earlier so we weren’t interrupted?
What if you never met me……?
And that one hurts the hardest
That one makes the pit in my stomach
Stretch like a trampoline only to repeal back
Into its own little small circle and it looks strong but its not.
Everything about you is amazing to me.
But nothing is amazing about me to you….
You…you said to me that night
You wanted to kiss me
Then why didn’t you?
Why did you question me?
You know. I’d say you were my favorite song.
And I yours. You are the song to me that never gets old,
And im the one that comes on the radio to often for you to listen to it anymore.
So you change the channel.
But I must stop myself from singing along.
