Society and Politics

Relationships

(Alright well I'm getting tired of writing the dictionary part of this so I might as well put out some real content)

So relationships where to even start, the problem with how people see relationships today is that a lot of people look at them as a symbol of status or a measure of worth and if they don't then they often buckle down to society's expectations.

Me I could care less, I don't care if you're what society calls "attractive" or have issues or don't agree with me all the time, because those are the things that make people unique and to try and change them defeats the meaning of a relationship.

I think Relationships require 3 things to be rewarding and successful

1. Understanding - if you're not even going to try and understand the other person then don't expect much in return, people crave understanding and if you're going to be in any sort of relationship whether romantic or not then you need to develop a level or understanding of the other person or people

This is especially true if you "love" the person, love at first sight doesn't exist, that's what we call infatuation and it's fine and healthy to experience and enjoy but if you want more than one glorious night or weekend then you'll have to work. Maybe they are extremely hyper when they talk, what if that's because they're trying to say something words can't define or are trying to make you understand how they feel? Maybe they hang out with their friends more than you, well what if those friends are that person's family and have been friends longer than you've even known the person?
If you make assumptions in these things, odds are you'll argue about them at some point. If you try and understand them, even if the other person doesn't notice they'll appreciate it when your words or actions reflect that understanding.
Understanding is the foundation of any relationship, whether it's small and full of holes or as big and strong as the world itself is entirely up to you.

2. Learning - okay so you've come to understand each other a bit, that's only the start, if you don't keep learning about each other and learning in general then your relationship will stagnate and wither.
Everyone's had that awkward conversation with someone they used to know well, now you can't maintain relationships with everyone you meet and there's nothing wrong with drifting apart over time but if you don't want that to happen you have to learn about them.
Maybe your partner is a fan of something you've never heard of or maybe they have a passion for a sport or event. Even passively it's not hard to make a mental note of these things and when you remember and they talk to you about it later on then they'll appreciate that as well in some level and of course by learning about them you deepen your understanding and become even closer to them.
Learning is one of the most important things in life as a whole, to assume you know everything about someone is to instantly lose touch with them.

3. Passion - its what keeps relationships alive and interesting and its what most directly stimulates the reward reflex in your brain.

Whether it be cuddling on a long trip, fucking, or that stupid (possibly) thing you did with your friends last week passion give relationships flavor while the other two give it sustenance. One-night stands are a perfect example of this, very passionate, incredible high, but ultimately end in the walk of shame and returning to your normal life
This is what people most directly want, the things that you remember most and crave. When you have a good base of understanding and learning passion can hugely change a relationship, bringing you from the perfect shoulder to cry on to the perfect match.
Keeping this short and sweet : Passion is the most dynamic part of a relationship and is literally the fireworks in romance and fun part of having friends,
With passion itself you can have some of the best fireworks, but if you add some fuel to the fire you can turn it into the biggest bonfire and it'll last you however long you keep fueling it.

Naturally it's very hard to max out all 3 parts of this but they compliment each other so well that even moderate amounts of each will dwarf any of them alone. At the same time neglecting any one of these will have a definite effect on the other 2 so you have to pay attention to all of them.

Now while Ideology is messy and a lot of what I'll say is controversial we can all agree that having good relationships is one of the most rewarding things in life so you should try your best at them. And for this of you nervously creeping through the internet to try and find out "how to get a girl to like you" or "how to ask out a girl" in hopes someone else can help you, just know this: there is no one right way, every person is unique and each relationship has its own needs but if you try and understand the person and learn more about them then odds are either they'll start liking you back (or you might find out you're not the only shy one), or you might decide to just be friends or that they're not for you. In any case while getting a new friend might be better than getting into a doomed relationship, if you play your cards right and get to know each other then you might find your own OTP

(WARNING: next chapter will be rant about what people do wrong)