quiet [h.s]

one

ah. summer nights. the warm breeze of air brushes against my neck, moving the loose strands of hair that come out of my ponytail. multiple, loud voices surround me, making me a bit uncomfortable.

i've always liked silence. it calms you down, makes you feel relaxed and one with your thoughts. most people don't like it, they rather chit-chat for a whole night. or some might even like to go clubbing, with obnoxious loud music that makes your ears wanna explode.

okay, i might be overreacting. i just don't like it. i'd rather have a nice night on my couch or balcony, reading a novel and drinking some wine. alone.

you can already guess that i don't have many friends, not because they don't like me, it's just because i don't like everything what a normal person likes. luckily i got sam, my only friend who has stick with me through everything. she saw me change, but she didn't judge, she just accepted it. we don't see each other that often, but when we do, it's always something that i look forward to, and she's the only person who makes me feel like that. she's totally different from me, but i guess that's okay, it would be boring if everyone was the same.

the loud voices are getting softer, more distant, and i relax a bit more. i keep looking at the group of friends, i assume, who have just passed me. they look so.. happy, even though they just yell and talk loudly. i wish i could be like that, and just accept it, but i've tried, i really did, i just can't.

i grab my small backpack and place it on my lap, instead of next to me on the bench. i grab out a bottle of water and take a sip, while grabbing my alltime favourite "the great gatsby". reading the pages, for what seems like the 80th time (well, it probably is), i see someone sitting next to me. i don't pay much attention, i'm not intrested, i'd rather just read in this book for the last few hours it's gonna be light outside.

"ah, the great gatsby, i see. nice choice, have you read it before?" i can hear a deep, raw voice say to me. by how loud the voice is, i assume it's the person next to me. not wanna waste my time i say calmly, "yeah, it's my favourite." without taking my eyes of the page.

i can hear him breathing in and saying "it's a classic." and i nod, not wanting to be distracted from the book any longer. it's not like i don't know tom is gonna receive a call from his mistress at dinner time, but i just really don't wanna take my eyes of the book.

the air is getting colder, and i can even see a few raindrops coming down. in a matter of seconds, it starts raining. sighing loudly (yes loud, yes i did), i shut my book and place it back in my backpack. i grab my phone and put it in the pocket of my jeans, before standing up and making my way home. i didn't hear the person next me stand up, what's quite strange, since it's now already pouring and the bench didn't have any shelter.

not paying much attention, i'm home rather quickly, and i might have took a run for it, not wanting to be soaking wet. i guess that's the good thing when the park is only 2 minutes away from your house. i unlock the front door and step inside, taking off my converse. i see that my shirt is gone see through and is soaking, even tho i wished to the gods it wouldn't be. i decide to take my clothes off here, since i'm still standing in my hallway, so i don't have to worry about having water all over my wooden floors in the living room. in only my underwear, i go upstairs and change into my pyjamas.

i make my way back downstairs and turn on the tv, to watch the only thing i ever watch, the news. "today, in doncaster, a tragedy has happened. due to the hot weather these past few weeks, a forest on the south of doncaster, caught fire. leaving 10 people injured and luckily, no deaths. the fire wasn't started by anyone, it was the cause of the dry and hot weather. luckily, it has started raining and the firemen and the rain are doing their best job to maintain the fire. updates will follow in the news of 10pm." i'm sad. nature is such a beautiful thing and people are already destroying this earth, and now this too, i know it's none of our fault, but it's still sad.

i make myself dinner, which is basically dry cereal, since i forgot to go grocery shopping. i leave the news on and listen to everything. i watch the news because it's not as loud, and it's just nice to know what's going on in this shitty planet. i'm listening to the news reporter say something about some art exposition, when i hear my phone ring. i quickly get up and grab it from the counter it was laying on, checking that it was sam, i pick up the phone.

"hi laury, how are you?" she asks me and i respond, "yeah i'm doing fine. i'm eating my first class dinner, lucky charms with no milk. what about you?" i ask her and she gets excited, "well, i was kinda, uh.. well, i was.." i interrupt her, "just speak it out sam."

"well, i was thinking, would you maybe wanna keep me company this saturday? there's a party at jake's house and i don't wanna show up alone and emily has to work.." she tells me and im kinda annoyed, she knows i never ever go to parties. i went to one and after an hour i left crying. but i don't wanna let her down because, she has liked jake for years but he's just starting to really look at her and not look through her and she's all nervous, and since emily, her sister has to work. "i'm not sure sam, you know how i feel about them." i answer.

she sighs, "i know laury but c'mon you know how i feel about jake and things are looking good for us! i'm just a bit scared. and maybe, it would be good for you to step out of your comfort zone." i laugh at her comment, "comfort zone? it's not just that, you of all people should know that. but fine. i'll go, for 15 minutes and then i'm leaving." i can hear the excitement in her voice, "okay okay that's good i'll pick you up at 9" and with that i hang up.

fuck off, get out of my comfort zone. it's way more than that. but she has done a lot for me in the past, and jake's not a bad guy, she could do worse. so i guess i own her this one.

i make my way upstairs, climb into my bed and drift off to sleep, thinking about, how i would survive the goddamn party.