Dear Future Me;

Dear Future Me;

 Sunday, March 23, 2014 at 4:34PM

Dear Future Me,

I'm writing to you this letter at March 23rd, 2014, 4:34PM on a Sunday. Well, I'm going to start off by asking the typical question anyone would ask their future selves: How is it like in the future? I hope you're doing great and I hope that you're actually in college or university and not in a mental asylum which I've assumed you would be in the coming years. Most importantly, I hope you’re still alive.

The you right now, I don't know if you remember this but she's not a very good person nor is she a good friend. I hope you've figured out a way to fix that by now. I'm not happy with myself at the moment, mainly because I have no one to talk to or any friends to hang out with, joke around with and have sleepovers with. I hope you're not as unhappy as I am right now. Do you have someone to talk to? Or perhaps a boyfriend?

2013 and 2014 has been a series of ups and downs, we've got our hearts broken plenty of times. Remember that cute guy you've fallen in love with because of his sweet words and caring actions? He's got himself a girlfriend but I can feel a break up coming along, not to be mean or anything but it's true. I have this theory how high school relationships don't exactly last. It might have lasted with Dad and Mom to the extend when you're 15 but you can sense that their relationship's already falling apart. They no longer look at each other the same way they did in the past anymore. Sometimes, I feel like I’m the cause of this wreckage in their marriage. Mom asked me the other day if I was okay if they had gotten a divorce, you might hate me for this but I said yes.

Okay, let’s get off that topic now. And do you remember that nerdy guy who fallen in love with you! I lied about not liking him back, I really do but it's all too late now. Or perhaps you might be in a relationship with him right now? I hope you have gathered up your courage to do things now. In high school, you missed out a lot of things. You wanted to join the choral speaking team, the drama team and the debate team (solely for the enjoyment of talking back without getting hit or sued) but because you didn't have the guts to stand up tall and speak for yourself that you want to join the damn team, you missed your chance. Well, let’s just hope that you’ve figured out a way to fix that part of you.

You've also just gotten in a fight with one of your closest acquaintances. I don't know if you still remember this childish thought but you never saw anyone as your friend but as your acquaintances instead during high school. She's a great person but sometimes, she runs her mouth and steps over the line a little too much. If you're still friends with her right now, please cherish her. She's been there for you when you were 11 and had just found out your parents might be getting a divorce soon although they're seemingly happy in front of you, but people can put up an act sometimes. She has also been there for you when you were a self-deprecating idiot who blames everything on yourself. By the way, a few days ago I thought of this quote that perfectly describes my- well our- future; "Your destruction will be your own doing" 

I hope it doesn't come true though, I really do. Oh yes, your studies aren't very great at the moment, you can barely hang in your current class. I don't know how old would you be when you're reading this but you really need to get rid of your laziness. I have this urge to study all the time but it never comes true, partly because Wattpad exists and I'm pretty hung up on stalking people through Facebook. Then again, we’re most definitely not the brightest kid in the class. But that just means we’ll have to work twice as hard to gain their acknowledgements, am I not right? I know you can do it, and not to sound like a narcissist, but you’re a pretty amazing person.

I said that I wanted to become a Psychologist. Well, we said it at some point of our lives. Are you studying to be one now? Dad laughed at me when I first told him I would like to become a Psychologist. He said I would work well with mental people of my own kind but excuse him, that's not what Psychologists’ jobs are. Anyways, I hope you're living that dream you had since you were 14. 

And is mom doing okay? You might have said plenty of hurtful things to her in your rebellious stage of life. I think she's fairly disappointed in the both of us. She's a great mom but you probably didn't realize that when you were younger, thinking she's just a naggy old woman you'd hope you turn 18 soon so you can move out right away. I hope you realized that she loves you lots and I hope that you're taking care of her. Cherish her well, okay? Time flies all too quickly, so please make sure mom is happy, for me, the younger version of you who couldn't do all these things in the past.

I don’t think you’re with dad, grandpa or grandma now. But grandma was a pretty annoying person too; you might have gotten that trait of hers. I hope you realized by now she cares for you too. Enough to annoy the hell out of you. If they’re still there, tell them you love them and that you know whatever they’d have done was all for your well being.

I might not have been able to live a happy life for the past 15 years, but I hope that it gets better for you. Please don't drown yourself in depression and sorrow, learn to trust and love others around you. You have great friends, you have them now but you can't trust them at the moment. If you've learnt to trust them in the future, please never stop doing that. It's not scary to fall in love as well, I might be way too young to tell you this considering you'd be older than me while you're reading this but, I just want to say that don't be blinded by love, find the guy who truly loves you for the weird, quirky, stubborn, lame and annoyingly bitchy side of you. And when you do, cherish him as well. 

All the people you've met in your life have taught you valuable lessons so don't forget them. If they're still in your life right now, cherish them deeply. I know that I've said that plenty of times in the previous paragraph but please, you have to. And you have to live life to the fullest, fulfill the dreams that I've always wanted to fulfill and do the things that I've never been able to do. You were pretty suicidal when you were younger because of how you never were truly accepted by your 'friends'. I want to live and I hope you live.  No matter what time is it to the future you're reading this, 

Please be happy and don't live your life in regret anymore. Don't be afraid, don't be insecure or self-deprecating, just be happy for me and everyone else in your life that you truly love.

I love you and I believe in you.

Sincerely, 

You from the past.