Dear Future Me;

Dear Past Me;

Dear Future Me;

Sunday, March 23, 2014, 9:58PM

Dear Past Me;

I don’t know if writing this letter to you would change something but I really hope it does. Right now, you’re probably at the toughest time of your life. At the age of 11, you’ll find out that your mom has been seeing another guy and you’ll find that out during your family vacation trip to Sarawak [Way to ruin a trip, huh?]. You will never be the same ever again. You’ll start crying yourself to sleep every night when you hear your parents arguing over the thin wall between the two adjoining rooms.

The next day, you won’t have the mood to get out of bed and go to school, but you did anyways. However, I’d suggest you don’t. In school, you’ll have a nervous breakdown and you’ll start bawling your eyes out in the school library where your teachers and friends try to comfort you. Once you’ve calmed down, you’ll make the worst decision of your life; telling the girl you deemed as your best friend what happened.

She won’t keep it a secret even though you tell her to. But the good thing is, a fellow classmate of yours, who is now one of your closest friends, will help you get through this. After recess, you’ll receive a letter from her which you’ll keep in the box in your closet. You’ll read that letter and you’ll realize that you’re not alone after all.

Don’t let what happened get to you. At the end of the year, don’t get distracted by social networks, your grades have been slipping but it’s alright, everything will be alright. After you realized how badly you’ve done in the finals, you’ll cry in the bathroom every night while the shower’s running. But that’s just the beginning of something great.

At the age of 12, you’ll be in the second class instead of the first. You might feel devastated knowing this but let me tell you this, you’ll no longer be the underdog. In fact, deactivate your Facebook account right now! Because once you’ve deactivated it, you’ll start studying for real!

This year, you’ll ace the mock exams and you’ll get first in class for mid terms! You’re placed second in finals because your total percentage is 1% lower than the girl who placed first but don’t worry, you’ll get a chance to go on stage and receive your first certificate for great overall academic achievement. There are times when you’ll get mocked for dropping classes but never fear; they’ll all be worth it.

Because for the government exam at the end of the year, you’ll get the greatest surprise in your entire life. You’d never imagine this but you scored straight A’s for that and you’ll finally be able to say ‘IN YOUR FACE!’ to those who have mocked you, isn’t that great? It’ll feel really good, trust me.

But, 9 days after getting your results, you’ll be visiting your grandaunt, granduncle and your aunt. Your granduncle is hospitalized because he’s ill. Remember this, it’s very important. They’ll be visiting him on a Sunday morning and when they do, DO NOT REFUSE TO GO WITH THEM. Why? Because granduncle is dying, it’ll be the last time you’ll ever be able to visit him. At 2PM, you’ll receive a call from your mom who’s crying. She’ll tell you that granduncle has passed away and then you’ll cry too. You’ll start regretting why you hadn’t gone with them to visit the person whom you’ve loved so dearly. No matter how much you’ve cried, he’s not coming back so that’s why, please don’t refuse to visit him when you have the chance for a do-over.

Never forget this day: 27th November 2011.

It’s when you’ve made your biggest mistake.

But you’ll move on, you have to.

You’ll be graduating from primary school to secondary school and you’ll be experiencing plenty of firsts. At the end of the year, at the age of 13, you’ll get confessed to by a boy you thought you might have had feelings for but actually, you don’t. But you’ll accept him anyway. You two will break up after 2 weeks when you’ve finally noticed that you might have not liked him after all. After that, you’ll start ignoring him and refusing to speak or even look at him. It hurt him to the point he hated you. But I hope that you’ll reject him instead of tormenting him like this.

You’ll also get a pointless and nonsensical lecture from a parent at an old folks’ home. Don’t lose your cool and always keep your temper in control. Even if she said something offending your parents, don’t scream at her in public like I did.

At the beginning of your 2nd year in secondary school, you’ll have a huge fight with your clique of friends. That’s when you’ll realize that they aren’t real friends. At this point, your clouded vision will clear up and you’ll meet real friends. Remember that girl who sent you a letter when she overheard the conversation with you and a fellow friend about your parents’ divorce? She’s one of them.

And then you’ll meet a nice guy. He’s popular and cute. You won’t like him at first but you’ll fall head over heels for him after. And at Relay, he’s going to buy you supper! That’s when you’ll feel real butterflies in your stomach. But it goes downhill eventually, he’ll get himself a girlfriend and you’ll end up feeling very, very, very sad. You should’ve listened to some advices from your friends who told you to give up on him after all.

You’ll want to join the debate team, the drama team, the choral speaking team and a lot of things but because you’re too shy, you won’t speak up for yourself and you’ll miss your chance to join. You have to fix that though!

I know its tough getting over these things but hey-look at me- I did it and I’m happy! You’re me and I’m you, if I can do it, so can you. It’s only a matter of time. When these things finally happen to you, I want you to stand tall and be strong. Don’t let anyone bring you down; you’re a very brave girl.

I’m ending my letter here and I hope it has helped you. Perhaps if you get a chance for some do-overs, here are some things you might want to change;

1)      Don’t talk back to mom. (Although she can be very cranky, very annoying and well, bitchy sometimes).

2)      Don’t refuse to go to the hospital. Ever. You don’t know when the last goodbye is.

3)      Don’t live your life in regret, do outrageous things while you’re still young! Don’t be afraid, don’t be insecure, just be you. YOLO, right?

You’ll grow up to be a wonderful person, I know you can! Good luck, kiddo. (And you might need to start expecting more letters from me!)

Love,

The future you.