Parachute [Book 4]

Chapter 36 - Equally Heartbroken

I wasn't ever planning on doing what I'm doing for this chapter... but the other idea for this chapter was hard to write. So I decided to do this and really get into Jake's head. I hope you enjoy and please comment and vote :) 

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Jake Puckerman

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“I love you, Jake Puckerman.”

The words wouldn’t leave my head. They just circulated around in mind, and they hadn’t stopped even once. There was nothing else I could think of – all I could think of was those five words she had shouted to me across the hallway, her voice cracking as she spoke them. The very words that had sent me into hysterics and the very words that made my heart break all over again.

It felt like the last time she would ever say those words to me.

I had accused her of not loving me anymore and obviously now, she wouldn’t love me. She would hate my guts because I broke her heart, just like everyone else had. Just like her parents had, just like every single person who had used and abused her.

How could I have been so damn stupid? Angie loves me, and she still loves me… but soon, she would move on and those words, the ‘I love you, Jake Puckerman’, would mean nothing to her.

But the words I had said back to her – “I love you too, Angela McGraw,” – would always mean the world to me. Whether or not we got back together eventually and lived out the happily ever after I promised her, I would always mean the words I said.

A cold gust of window blew across my face and I shivered, but I didn’t really notice. The voice inside of my head, the one telling me I was so freaking stupid for breaking up with Angie, was distracting me from how cold it actually was outside.

I was seated on the football field, leaning against the bleachers. The grass I was sitting down on was covered from one side to the other in snow, not even a single centimeter of grass visible under the blinding white.

The roof of McKinley High was also covered in snow, heavy around the gutters and very light towards the top of the slightly slanted roof.

Angie was in there still, probably still in the hallway, crying her eyes out just like I was. It wouldn’t have been too late to go back in there and apologize for breaking up with her and then we could get back to where we left off… but there was this other part of me telling me that us breaking up for the time being was the best thing to do.

As much as I was regretting the decision to stay curled up against the metal benches behind me, crying about my loss of the most beautiful girl in the world, I knew it was probably the best thing to do.

Angie could go and get with that Idony girl she obviously adored and I could just go back to Chicago and get back on with my life. I wouldn’t have the temptation to quit dancing anymore because I wouldn’t have anything to go back to.

So maybe it was actually for the best, because obviously, the two of us needed a break… at least, I guessed we needed a break.

There was a big possibility, though, that I was just joshing myself with the thoughts that Angie and I would get back together in the future.

I would leave for a little bit, go back to Chicago, live my life, have sex with some other girls to get my mind of Angie, and then I’d come back to Lima… and it could either go two ways; in the first way, Angie’s still single and we make up and then the two of us have our happily ever after… or it could result in Angie having someone else in her life that means more to her than I ever have.