Parachute [Book 4]

Chapter 44 - Best. Date. Ever.

:) I'm going to edit this later :)

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"Obviously, she doesn't have a brain on her." Melissa leaned against her locker and watched me as I stood by my own locker. It was the morning after the day I had been turned down, and I felt like absolute shit. "Who would turn you down anyways?"

I turned to Melisa suddenly, the thoughts circling in my head making me feel dizzy. "Just shut up, okay? I don't want to talk about it."

I couldn't stop thinking about how she had said no to me; I had been expecting it and was just hoping against it, but it hurt more than I expected. It also sent me on a giant self-hate fest where I spent every minute pointing out the little things wrong with me.

The voices in my head were back and over the past day, they had grown so much stronger than when I was standing in the mirror of the girl's bathroom. They were telling me I was annoying and worthless and stupid and ugly and fat and all of the things I had grown to not believe.

I cried myself to sleep the night before, because I couldn't stop thinking about how worthless I was and how no one wanted me. Although I got heaps and heaps of sleep, too, I still woke up tired.

Everything sort of just sucked. That was why I didn't want to hear Melissa talk about the thing that had shot me back into this bout of sadness. It was all because of Idony. It was all her fault.

Everyone told me she wouldn't turn me down like she did, and they were all wrong. I knew she would — I was right — but no one believed me. They thought that she would say yes. She didn't; she just said no and broke my heart.

Melissa sighed from beside me and leaned on the locker. "Angie... you're sad and you have to talk about your feelings if you want to feel any better." Melissa put her hand on my shoulder and shook me slightly. "I know it's disappointing that she turned you down but it's not the end of the world."

I sighed and shut my locker door, leaning against it. "Mel, it is the end of the world, but just in ways that you don't understand."

She sighed heavily again, just like I had, and slid in closer to me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "Just tell me. I think I might be able to understand if you just tell me." Melissa ducked her head to look me in the eye and I quickly glanced away, down at my feet.

No amount of talking about my problems would solve them. I could complain to Melissa about those voices inside of my head for as long as I wanted, but nothing would make me love myself again. And nothing would make Idony take back that no she said to me. Nothing would make anyone else love me.

"Please Angie." Melissa whispered. "Seeing you sad is literally the worst. Please, just talk to me."

I used my elbow to shove her away and I immediately leaned back on my locker, crossing my arms over my chest. "She said no, Mel. "

"I know that, you told me yesterday."

Shaking my head, I looked her right in the eye and whispered, "There's so much more than you don't know about me, Melissa. This, the rejection, is something I've put up with since I was born... and for once, I told myself that maybe things would work out and I wouldn't be rejected." I shrugged my shoulders. "But it happened anyway."

"Angie-"

"Don't." I snapped at her. "I don't need your... I don't need your sympathy. Just let me hate myself and the fact I can't stop failing at everything I do."

She opened her mouth to say something but she quickly shut it again and let out a heavy breath through her nostrils. "I'm just going to go. Sorry, Angie, but if you actually want to talk, you know where to find me." She then gave me a pat on the shoulder and turned around, walking down the hallway and out of sight.