Saved By A Bad Boy

[21]. Don't Hate When I Don't Date...

Maya was clearly very concerned when I returned to school. She was hardly a character to be called the motherly-type, but the instant I walked onto Bayridge High School property, her maternal side was definitely showing. I'm pretty sure she was extra worried because I probably looked like a raccoon due to the enormous bags beneath my eyes. When Jax left yesterday, my mother's anxiety returned with a renewed force. I'll admit that mine did, too. Eventually, I managed to put her to bed, but as for me, I was left awake all night, my eyes on the door, waiting for him.

"Hey, Cherry." I shuddered when I remembered the way he would say that. It was disgusting, and volatile, and I felt disgusting and volatile as a result. I don't think I'd ever feel quite perfect again, and if he came back...

I'd never recover.

"Alyssa, have you been eating? You really should eat, you know. You always forget to do it when you're stressed, but eating is probably the best thing that anyone can do for themselves," Maya was gabbering on and on as I trudged along beside her, walking through the light layer of early December snow. My feet were sore from pacing, and my eyes refused to stay open. Every part of my body seemed to want to give up and retire, and my brain pretty much agreed. The only part of me that was awake was my heart, and I felt that even it might putter to a stop soon.

Basically, I felt like crap.

And, too make it all worse, the December Dance was coming up. The December Dance was basically a Christmas ball, but without "Christmas" in the title. For some reason, it seemed like Bayridge High always needed an excuse to throw some party-type thing, and I was not thrilled with any of them. I completely skipped out of Homecoming, because I had no desire whatsoever to attend, but I had a feeling that I'd have no such option now. The December Dance was strangely a big deal, and I had no idea why. It was basically prom, just with snowflake decorations.

And I hated it.

But Maya loved it.

So, naturally, a lot of people were starting to talk about who they were going to go with and stuff like that. All I know is that I was not excited. Honestly, this December didn't seem exciting just in general. With my mom slipping back into depression, everything seemed sort of...pointless. Hopeless. And I couldn't imagine that she'd be going out and getting presents or anything, not with everything concerning Troy. So while everyone else was spending Christmas at ski resorts with their boyfriends or their grandma's house and their families, I would be sitting in my bed, watching Mean Girls and pretending to be happy when - in reality - I was miserable. No pies or mashed potatoes, just a bowl of Raman noodles and maybe - if I'm lucky - a Butterfinger. To sum it up, I wasn't really jumping for joy.

"Do you think you'd feel up to dress shopping soon?" Maya asked warily, walking alongside me as I entered the congested hallways. To be quite honest, I don't think I'd feel up to dress shopping anytime soon, but I didn't want Maya to worry any more than she already was, so I just nodded.

"Sure, I can do that," I told her, being sure to take notice of the relief that swept over her. "But just out of curiosity...do you even have a date?" This time, Maya scowled.

"No. Not unless I want to go with Peter Pitman or what's-his-face or something," she huffed. "Are you going with someone?" And then something must have struck Maya just then, because her eyes suddenly got incredibly wide and her mouth fell open as she exclaimed, "You are going, aren't you?" I sighed.