Saved By A Bad Boy

[39]. Storytelling...

Trigger Warning: This Chapter Contains References to Sexual Trauma

"So you said you saw him yesterday," Jax said slowly. I could tell he was fighting to keep his anger in check, as not to frighten me. "Where?" I took a moment and looked down at my untouched bowl of cereal, as if it had all the answers.

"At my house," I said quietly. I could see him clenching his fist out of the corner of my eye. That was the response he feared.

Then he sat down in the chair across from me. He closed his eyes, reigning in his emotions. I moved my spoon around in the cereal, even though I had no intention of taking a bite. He opened his eyes again.

"Okay," he said. Then he took a second, and looked at me directly in my eyes. In an even gentler and slower voice, he asked, "And what happened?" This time, I took a moment. A long one. For a long answer.

"He was there when I got home from school," I began. I gave into the urge to exhale another deep breath. "And he started talking to me. Said he...missed me." I thought I had used up all my tears yesterday, but my eyes stung, and I knew there were still so much more to come.

I was caught off guard, when suddenly Jax reached across the table and slipped his hand over mine. My eyes met his. No hate. No disgust. Just love, tinged with worry. He loves me, I reminded myself. He loves me.

My fingers warmed, a feeling that shot straight up to my heart. It's okay. It's going to be okay.

"He said he'd been watching me," I said, my voice losing strength and volume the more I spoke. "For a while now." A tear slipped down my cheek as I said the next sentence. "He followed me to the party that night."

Realization struck Jax. His hand stilled over mine. He knew who drugged my drink. He also knew that if he hadn't come to pick me up that night...well, I'd be at the mercy of a monster right now.

"Okay," he said, his voice rough with emotion.

"And he, um, said he wanted me, um, again," I said. Another breath. Another tear. "Then he tried to grab me, but...I remembered a part of your self-defense lessons. And I...um...I got away." My voice shook. I refused to start crying hysterically again. That was my reaction yesterday. That was little, abused Alyssa climbing back into her old body. Or perhaps just recapturing what had already been hers.

But this time, I was stronger. I lost Mrs. Maxwell, and I had healed. I lost Jax for a while, and my mom and Milo, and I had healed. I lost myself for a long time.

I would heal.

And Jax would help me.

"Then I drove around, and I came here." The end. No more storytelling for me.

Jax took a moment or two. Taking in everything I told him. He was still processing everything I had dropped on him yesterday, and now on top of it, he had to deal with Troy's latest threat to my life. I had a sinking suspicion that I was becoming quite the burden for him.

He closed his eyes again. Inhaled deeply. He was regaining his composure, which - at this point - was quite the task. Then he slowly opened his eyes again as he let out another long breath. His fingers were tightening around my hand. I could tell he was resisting the urge to hit something.

"Jax?" I began, nerves racing through my body. He forced a tight, hesitant smile.

"Sorry, I just needed a moment," he said. I nodded, because he was being completely reasonable. Take all the time you need. "Are you okay?" The question caught me off guard. I wasn't sure how to answer.