BitterBlue - Book two of the Bitter novels -

9. But it was only just a dream

"But how can I ever choose you, when you do such bad things? How can I ever love you? Damon?"

"Elena...this is me!"

"But you're so good! You never let anyone see the good in you"

"That's because when people see good they expec..."

Amilla flicks off the t.v,

"Oh come on! That's the latest episode!" I shout at her but she ignores me, of course. I was just about to find out who Elena picks in vampire diaries! This was an epic episode!!! It's not fare! I'm dead, I should at least get to see who she bleddy chooses. (Which should totally be Damon because he is awesome!)

"Flynn's waiting outside" Clay grunts as he buttons up a fresh white shirt,

"Will he not come in?" Amilla is glaring at a pink diamond dress that sits on a wooden chair,

"Nope...confinced it's a trap" He stares out the window for a moment and then smirks, "You're going to wear it if you want to come"

"I don't mind wearing a dress Clay...but does it have to be so...pink?" Amilla fingers the fabric with distaste,

"You sound just like Scarlett..." He says softly. A flash of pain echoes on his face and he quickly steps from the room. I follow him and watch as Clay sits down on the bed,

"You don't have to do this" I mutter,

"No...I do" He says softly and then blinks in surprise. I jump forwards not wasting a second,

"Can you hear me?" I gasp but his eyes are already closing in dispear,

"Sometimes...it's like you're still here watching me...as if I can still hear your voice" He mutters,

"I am here...I'm always here" A lie but I'm with him most of the time...when I can be here. I push my thoughts away from the time I spent with Gabe...best just to forget him,

"But you're gone...and it's his fault" He clenches his hands together, "And tonight...I'll make him pay"

"No! No! No!" Anger claws at me I slam my hands down on the bedroom table and the noise thunders in the room, the lamp rocks off the edge smashing,

"Clay?" Amilla shouts,

"It's ok! I'm alright" He calls and then frowns. I stumble backwards in shock. Clay is staring around the room straining his eyes, "Scarlett?" He asks softly. I take a breath, pull back my hands and slam them down on the table again...only this time when my hands hit it, nothing moves, no noise...no nothing and already Clay is grabbing his hair in defeat, "I'm going crazy" He mutters. I can feel tears springing in my eyes, (seriously...I've cried more dead than I did alive...being dead is very emotional) And then I have an idea...a bad idea but, yeah...I don't care right now. I need to show Clay I'm here,

"Gabe" I say feeling like an idiot speaking to thin air but I don't want to go and find him...I'm just hoping he'll come to me. A waft of warm wind circles the air and a soft glow echoes around me until Gabe is standing in the corner of the room, staring at the floor, hands in his pockets, "You came!" I gasp in surprise and then flush. I dunno where me and Gabe stand right now...but I need his help,

"I came" He grunts not looking at me and then he sighs...real loud, "So...what happened?"

"I made a noise...I knocked over the lamp" I point at the smashed up bulb which Clay is now picking up, his face is screwed up in cute concentration as he carefully fingers the glass,

"Yup" Gabe mumbles not looking,

"So...I want to do it again" I frown,

"And you need me because...?" He says with another sigh,

"Because I do! I dunno how to do it again" I cry. Again tears start to spring to my eyes. I just want my boyfriend to know I'm still here...still watching him...still loving him. What the hell is wrong with that?

"Scarlett...don't cry..." He takes a few steps forward as if to comfort me but backs away quickly with a slight nod,

"I just...I need to..."

"Yeah...I know..." Gabe closes his eyes for a moment, takes a breath and runs a hand through his golden hair, "It won't last long and I won't do it again...Understand that, I will not ever do this again for you so make the most of it"

"Do what?" I frown,

"This" Gabe reaches out one hand and touches Clay's arm. He leans forward and presses his other hand on me and then my world disappears into a golden light.

*******

I wake up laying on lush green grass. A summer sun kiss glitters down on my cheeks warming my skin with her laughter. A blue sky grinning down at me,

"What the hell?" A soft voice mutters. I sit up and stare around. The field is huge and full of overgrown grass but I don't care about any of that...I care about the man sat in front of me....staring at me...with two huge green eyes wide in shock,

"Scarlett?" He gasps staring right at me...I blink and frown,

"You can see me?" I whisper. Clay nods gently,

"Am I dreaming?" He asks me,

"I dunno...if you're dreaming then so am I" I mutter softly, hardly daring to move. I'm scared I'm going to break this spell. Clay isn't. He knees forwards and reaches a hand out...it's shaking slightly. A phone number is wrote on the back of his palm...his skin is smudged slightly from what looks like mud. Clay's fingers hover just from my cheek and slowly I lean forwards into them...they curl along my skin making me gasp aloud. We can touch. Clay gasps and quickly pulls his other hand up into my hair knotting his fingers quickly around my curls,

"I...I...can't believe this" He stutters, "It's so real" I quickly kneel up to him so we're closer,

"I think it is real" I say and fall into his arms. It's heaven. I lay in his embrace...his touch. I want this forever. Clay brings his lips down to my cheeks...kissing me slowly,

"I love you" He mutters against my neck,

"I love you more" I chuckle,

"No...no you don't " He grunts darkly, "I can hardly live without you" I remember how Clay had slept with that women and think about saying something but I won't ruin this. Everyone copes with things different,

"You have to stay away from your dad" I say as his kisses become more deeper. I'm trying to stay focused but his touch is making me crazy. I need more,

"I can't. I have to do it. For you" He slowly brings his hands down the curve of my hip,

"I don't need anything apart from you to be safe" I say softly and pull back to stare at his deep green eyes,

"I am safe" He says softly but doesn't meet my eyes,

"No...please don't do this! I can't help you! I can't do anything! I don't want to watch you throw your life away!" I beg him but Clay only frowns,

"Do you watch me?" Is all he says,

"Of course I do..." I mutter. His hands clutch me tight,

"I thought...I dunno...I thought you'd gone...you know...with your mum and dad..." He chuckles softly, "Thought maybe you'd gone heaven? That you'd be happy...Have you gone to heaven?" I don't know how to answer him. I want to tell the truth but it would make him sad. I don't want him to know I'm lost,

"Of course I have! I just...visit you" I say softly,

"You're lying" He mutters softly, "I can always tell"

"No...No I'm not" I try to convince him but he shakes his head sadly,

"I'll get my dad for you...I'll send him to hell" He hisses. The air around us has started to turn cold...I can feel myself slipping away from Clay,

"No! I don't want that!" I say quickly and grab his arms forcing him to look at me, "You have to stay safe"

"I will" He nods softly. The field is turning darker and darker. I growl and cry out,

"I need more time!" I shout out. But it's no use...this world is fading away,

"I love you Scarlett" Clay says softly and then darkness consumes me before I can say it back.