welcome to the darker parts of my mind. this will be like a dairy of things i can't tell people. how many people i will write to i do not know. some of them i talk to about some of these things but other things i feel too pathetic about. i am rather pathetic. this is a way for me to get out my feelings, writing them down and maybe no one will read them, maybe only one person will read them but that doesn't bother me. i need to do this for me not for the reads.  my enlgish teacher would die if she saw this simply because of my structure in how i am writing. but this is being written as i think it as i say it as it comes in my mind and i choose how i do it. my thoughts are being written out, sometimes they go non stop for 10 minutes without a break other days ever second word needs a stop. 

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