Bend Around the Wind by Scyllaya

Chapter 5: Better

Chapter Five

Better

Cassiopeia Galaxy

Shedir System

Sector 40

Tony tried to think of Pepper every day, tried to recall as many details as possible to keep her fresh in his mind. At first it helped, but as time went on it just reminded him how very far away he was and how likely it was that he will never return to her. He wondered sometimes, was she still searching? Or has she given up by now? He had no way to know how much time passed since he was taken away from Earth, he didn't know how much time it would take to get back, if ever. Thinking of her lately just made the cell look worse, made him hyperaware of the dirt, the dampness and the ever present stench of blood and how they didn't smell any better than the cell itself either. He noticed that he also lost some considerable weight. It was not surprising with the small amount of food they got. His hair got longer too, which was another irritating sign of how much time actually passed.

They were careful with him, caused only little damage, but a lot of pain, he rarely got cut or made to bleed, it didn't mean they were not creative in other ways. He kept it together, he may have screamed until he was hoarse, but he kept his mouth shut and was hanging onto his clear mind, his sanity and as much from his dignity as possible. Loki did too. Loki who was bone-thin and pale as a ghost still looked down on their captors and they could see it. His body was weak now, but his eyes were still blazing with hatred. The bastard. Tony hated to admit it, even just inside his own head, that he was impressed by that. Because that really took something, to be able to look down on men who could make him scream like a gutted pig. Maybe it was a royalty thing, or just a Loki thing.

He also hated that it affected him as much as it did. That seeing that look on Loki's face made him grit his teeth a bit more, made him raise his head a bit higher. He didn't have anything to prove, not to this guy! Not to this crazy asshole, who tried to take over the world, trashed Tony's tower and tossed him out of a window! He did not have to prove himself to him! But it still made him toughen up, because if Loki could do it, then he sure as hell won't break under the pressure either. No chance in hell.

It was an unspoken routine at this point, to help the other out when they were too weak to stand up on their own. They never talked about it, they never acknowledged it. Tony was fairly sure that Loki didn't want to kill him at this point. Well, unless his death could be used for an escape or anything. At least Tony could fell asleep in relative peace, not having to worry that Loki would kill him in his sleep, because he was pretty sure that if the god decided to murder him, he would do it while he was awake.

Sleep of course carried the possibility of nightmares and so far he's been lucky enough that none of them were too intense or vivid. When the waking hours were horrifying enough, his usual nightmares didn't seem so terrible. His luck had to run out eventually though. He couldn't tell, in the nightmare whether he was in the cave or here, it didn't matter. There was pain and screams, cold water and burning fire. His arc reactor was aching like when the palladium was poisoning his veins, Yinsen stared at him with dead empty eyes and when he turned back around it was Pepper screaming on the table and he was holding the blade.

He woke up with a scream of his own, his entire body shaking, his dirty skin covered in sweat and he was hot and cold at the same time. He couldn't get his breath under control and he was pretty sure he was crying. Fuck. He pulled his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them, wanting to close out everything only for a few moments. God, what he would've given for some alcohol right about now.

'There is a place...' sounded Loki's voice in the darkness. 'In-between spaces, between the branches of the Yggdrasil, which is not a place at all, it is nothing.'