Bend Around the Wind by Scyllaya

Chapter 32: A Nickel for Your Kiss

Chapter Thirty-Two

A nickel for your kiss

Andromeda Galaxy

Tumbla System

Open Space

In the past few hours he cleaned his armour, his gun and his blades, rearranged his potion cabinet twice and changed the sheets on his bed as well. Then he stared at the bed for a few minutes contemplating whether he should just move into a different room altogether. His head was pounding and he knew that if he actually had access to his magic there would be sparks flying from his fingertips every few seconds. All his attempts to clear his head were futile so far, his mind just kept spiralling around the same things over and over again.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid! He let himself go, he lowered his guard. A mistake, always a mistake. He was not a fool, he should've known better. Sentiment, wretched cursed sentiment, as always. He was so furious at himself! He should've never allowed Stark to get this close, get under his skin, but he let himself be lured into a false sense of security by pretty words and heroic actions. When was he ever going to learn?! He knew better, at least he thought he knew better. He should've expected this. He stopped himself just before he kicked his bed, because this... this was just getting pathetic. So damn pathetic.

So he just sat down on the bed instead to calm down and gather all back what accidentally spilled out. Push it down to where it all belonged and where it should've remained. He still needed to learn his lessons the hard way so it seemed. What was he even thinking? Stupid, so very stupid. He wanted to just burn something or destroy something, but of course there was nothing on the ship he could wreck, so he was left sitting on his bed while his mind reminded him of his utter idiocy over and over again. He didn't even know how long he sat there like that. He just felt numb after a while.

'Loki.'

He sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. He did not turn towards the door, not even when he opened them again.

'What do you want, Stark?'

'Have you been sitting here all day?' Loki did not deem that with an answer. Stark continued after some silence. 'Look, I'm really shitty at this talking deal, alright? Back at home everyone would be already looking at me like I was ten kinds of weird just for making an effort. Well, it's not like I've never tried to make an effort before, but it never really worked out too well. I'm not good at this, I said that already.'

'What do you want, Stark?' Loki repeated to cut off the tirade of words.

Stark took a large breath. 'How about we try this exchanging of words things again, but this time without deliberately tearing each other apart?'

'There's nothing left to talk about.'

'That's where I don't agree with you,' Stark said and walked further into the room. He didn't even hesitate before he sat down on the bed next to Loki.

'I'm not exactly interested in what you want to say,' Loki told him simply.

'Too bad,' Stark answered easily. 'I'm going to talk anyway and the ship's not big enough to run away from me.'

'By all means, speak then.' Stark was stubborn and Loki couldn't avoid him forever, he might as well get this over with. Stark surely wanted to placate his conscience, so Loki would let him speak his empty words. He did not expect him to show up this soon though, but it did not really change anything.

'You're a real bastard sometimes, you know that?'

Oh this conversation was going to be just as delightful as the previous one.