Here You Go: A Collection of Garbage and Other Things

pretty birds

"Listen, you little prepubescent little pile of hormones and acne, do you know who I am?" I glanced at my watch. 9:18. Shit. The party started at 10:30. I have roughly an hour to get the cake, and fly it back to the kitchen. All well and good, but this teenage pimple head was too busy staring at his phone to listen to my order.

"Hey lady, do you know who I am? My father's the owner of this bakery, so I can and will throw you out for disturbing the peace!"

I snorted. "More like disturbing your progress through Lady Badooms: Adventure of the Space Vixens!"

He turned red. "How...?" He stammered.

I smiled sweetly at him. "Maybe I'm psychic?" Cleary, being nice and asking like a regular human wasn't working. Sometimes, being a villain and have superpowers really worked in your favor. I watched in satisfaction as the guy turned around without another word, and marched to the back of the bakery.

"Your cake will be ready in an hour, Ms...?" The boy returned, face slack, eyes empty.

"Ms. Laverne will do." I said, smiling.

"Of course. And the name of the child?"

"Write 'Happy 5th Birthday, Richard!'."

He bowed stiffly. "That will be $950, please."

Woah. Yea, no. I batted my eyelashes at him. "How 'bout you give it to me for, let's say, free!"

A look of surprise flitted across his face before I got him under control again. "Sure, Ms. Laverne." He bowed once more, and exited.

It's good to be queen. I turned back to my phone and settled down to wait for the cake.

****************

I settled on top of one of the many statues of me around the city, closing my eyes and enjoying the way the fresh wind blows in my face. It was a quiet morning today, no villains to stop, no messes to clean up, and no people to save.

It wasn't that I didn't like being Lightning, Savior of the Masses and Hero of Storm City, but sometimes I just wanted to have a breather, a quiet moment all to myself without paparazzi and villains and the like disturbing it.

The morning was still and beautiful, the sun shining, people just starting to wake up and drive and go about their lives. From my spot, high above the ground, they resembled little ants, bustling around the anthill.

My little moment didn't last long. My earpiece crackled, and with a sigh, I accepted the notification.

Ryman and Sons Bakery. No panic, but I senses a strong force of electromagnetic power emitting from that location. I suggest you check it out, Light.

That was odd. Which one of my villains would hit up a bakery?

Probably Midnight. Maybe she forgot her brother's birthday? It is today...

True. Cynthia was forgetful at the best of times, and it would make sense that she would need a cake today, of all days. Plus, she was a horrible baker. I had found that out in the first year of college, when she tried being a good roommate and baking cookies for my birthday. The cookies had turned out little more than charred husks and we could still smell smoke in the rooms at Christmas time. I smiled, recalling those days of being broke college students, before we each turned to our powers. Before we each had our powers.