Throughout her life, Regina had struggled to survive. After much pain, she had been able to reach the plain and stress-free life that she had always aspired for, but life is never easy. Things began to fall apart again when she lost her job and had...
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REGINA'S P.O.V
4 years later...
There are certain incidents in your life where trivial things can trigger you and you lose yourself. You lose all those bottled up emotions in milliseconds and then there's nothing left inside. You have an outburst and then you stand there thinking, now what? Just then you question your mental capacities and end up blaming yourself. That's exactly what's happening with me.
"So, what?" I had yelled at my boss, standing in the coffee shop a few minutes ago when he had asked me why was I not quick and told me that I was procrastinating, which I wasn't.
A normal person would think twice before raising their voice in front of their boss, but I had lost it. Now that I think about it, I would never do such a thing. I know I am an unprofessional monkey, yet I know a bit about when and where to behave.
I am unable to understand what is the reason for my spontaneous reactions. I am not into Wordsworth that much but I am certainly the epitome of a spontaneous overflow of powerful emotions. The only difference is that he articulated those emotions onto a paper, mine gets back on people.
I keep remembering my friend, Hina's words. "Once you do the mistake of revealing yourself, people will jump your bones. They are hungry for power over you. Don't let them have it. Try to have control."
But I am not like Hina. I can't bottle up my emotions or hide what I feel inside. I am the type of person who would laugh in people's faces when they are explaining how they fell on the stairs, all the way down and broke their ankle. I would first laugh off the falling part and then apologize for the broken ankle.
Maybe its a lack of self -control but It feels like a spell. It just happens.
Right now, I am under the same spell. Cursing your boss in a language that he doesn't understand feels like one of the best things in this world, especially when your boss is a filthy asshole. Getting harassed at the workplace was a normal thing that shouldn't have existed in the first place but I had endured for this was the only way I could bring back food to my house. This is why when he raised his voice at me in an almost full shop, I lost it. It may look like it was insignificant but as I said, sometimes trivial things trigger you to do things which you would never imagine doing.
I was still wearing an apron and the coffee pot was still in my hands. I had turned back to leave when I felt his hand on my elbow ready to drag me back but I gave in to my reflexes. I poured the freshly hot coffee over him and as soon as I did it, I threw the pot away and ran towards the door. "I quit. I would rather die than work for you, filthy pervert." I pulled off the apron and throwing it in his face, I left the place.
I didn't forget to throw a curse at the other guy standing at the counter who used to bother me as I left the shop. I had been learning Urdu for quite a few days and when I am learning a language, I start from the curse words. What? They come handy in some situations. Like when you hate that wannabe classmate of yours and all you want is say something like "Fuck off bitch, your presence ain't needed in five hundred miles around me." but you can't for some reason so, just say, "Dafa ho yahan se, kutti"
