when the medicine stopped working for me, i fell apart again. i went back to my old habits once more and when i told a doctor about this i was put into a mental hospital, or as the doctors called it 'rehab.' i was kept in a white room where my demons attacked me nightly. i would have delusions and hallucinations of screaming and begging and god it wouldn't stop. the doctors had to put me in a padded room several times because even in the hospital i didn't feel safe. a new medicine. this time celexa. a new therapist who would tell me the things in my head weren't going to hurt me. it was the same thing i was doing but this time monitored. doctors surrounded me constantly, asking me every 15 minutes how i was doing. after a few days of 'not good' i finally started to answer 'im okay' because i was. i was finally okay. this hospital was surprisingly just what i needed. the new medicine worked better and i was released after 5 days. after i was released i saw life differently. i smiled more, i listened to more music, i appreciated my family and friends more. i was finally okay.
