The Dark Inside Of Me ✓ tk

Death won't take me

Warning: Mentions of suicide

"I tried to tell them I couldn't die", he murmurs, dusting his clothes off. He looks back up and catches someone's gaze, the person noticeable trembling.

"Jungkook", Taehyung says shocked. It's clear that the boy saw him drop down and stand back up again.

"Y-you-", Jungkook croaks out, "You should've died".

"Uh... thanks?", Taehyung scratches the back of his head awkwardly.

Jungkook is shaken out of his shock when he sees the hurtful expression on the older's face.

"W-wait no- I didn't mean it like t-that! I meant you should've died from falling four stories down! It's not like I wanted you dead!", the younger rambles, flailing his arms around in panic.

Taehyung's expression softens and he chuckles when he sees the younger freaking out about his wrong choice of words. "It's okay Jungkookie", he replies, patting the other's head, "I understand you're shocked right now".

Jungkook's eyes flutter closed at the touch of the older and he unconsciously wraps his arms around the taller boy to nuzzle his face into the crook of his neck.

"I came looking for you since you weren't in class. When I saw you smash onto the ground right in front of me a-and you didn't move I-I was so scared. I thought my brain was playing tricks on me", Jungkook mumbles against the other's neck creating goosebumps, "Why d-did you j-jump?

Taehyung soothes the trembling boy by playing with his hair. He's slightly worried about the fact that Jungkook thinks he jumped.

"I didn't", Taehyung grumbles back, "Jackson and his two lowlife friends pushed me off".

"What!?", Jungkook shrieks, pushing himself off the other's chest. His eyes widen but narrow after a split second, a dangerous glint in them, "I will- I will-"

"You will what?", Taehyung arches an eyebrow, already knowing there's nothing they could do or prove for that matter.

"I will tell the principle", Jungkook presses his lips together which should look like a determined expression but looks extremely cute in Taehyung's eyes. The older lets out a dry laugh and smiles sadly at the hybrid, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"He won't believe you and even if he did, he wouldn't do anything about it", Taehyung explains, caressing the younger's cheek, "Just let it go. I'm alive so it's alright".

"B-but why wouldn't he do something? They wanted to murder someone and make it look like a suicide!", Jungkook protests, shaking off the hand on his shoulder.

"Because he's a banshee", Taehyung sighs, "He was determined to reject my application for coming to this school but my uncle is an old friend of him. He eventually let me start in this school but never helped me when he heard about the rumors going around. He knows I'm getting bullied but he also knows something's wrong with me, something bad, and lets it slide".

"T-that's horrible though!", Jungkook gasps, balling his small hands in fists.

"You should've suspected by now that everything in my life is horrible", Taehyung smiles, "And it's apparently all my fault".

"But you didn't kill your parents, Taehyung, and also not your friend!", the hybrid argues back, not wanting to give into Taehyung's self-hate.

"Are you sure I had nothing to do with it? I can't fucking die Jungkook! That's not normal!", Taehyung rubs his temples in frustration, "Who knows if I killed them subconsciously".

"No! No Taehyung I refuse to believe that!", Jungkook yells agitated, "Who knows this accident was just a miracle! Maybe you just had luck!"

Taehyung chuckles but there's no humor in it. He averts his gaze from the smaller and steps a few steps back, turning away from him. "Just believe me on this alright? I can't die".

Jungkook takes a step forward, "But Taehyung-!"

"I tried it okay!", Taehyung abruptly faces him with anger, "I tried to kill myself before! You can't believe how many times it took me to finally accept the fact I'm not blessed to experience the peaceful embrace of death. Every wrist I slit healed in only a matter of seconds, the skin already growing back together when I had just sliced the knife through it. Every rope ripped before it could choke me. Every building didn't seem high enough to kill me and every overdose wasn't enough! I'm immortal or some shit! Some god here above fucking hates me and wants me alive to experience the guilt eating me alive every fucking day!"

Taehyung is panting by the time he finishes screaming, his throat feeling extremely dry and strained. Tears blur his sight and for once he's grateful not being able to see the expression on Jungkook's face. He just blurted out every suicide attempt he has been hiding for everyone. They would think he's weak and pathetic. And the thing that hurts the most is the fact that everyone, including him, wants him dead but he just can't fucking seem to die. Life is cruel for letting him live.

"I-I-", Jungkook doesn't seem able to find the right words, "I just- I don't-"

"It's alright Jungkookie", Taehyung smiles through the tears, "You don't have to say anything".

Jungkook is facing the ground, not being able to say anything. His heart is racing with anxiety and breaking at the same time. He suddenly snaps his head at the older and runs up to him with enough strength to knock the other on the ground. This results into Taehyung falling down on the concrete and Jungkook ending up on top of him, hugging the life out of him, whimpering and sobbing into Taehyung's chest.

"I-I'm s-sorry you had t-to go t-through that alone", Jungkook cries silently.

Taehyung sighs, dropping his head on the ground to look up at the sky. He trails his hand through the younger's hair. "It's okay-"

"I love you Taehyung", Jungkook mumbles all of a sudden and Taehyung freezes, letting his hand linger in the black locks.

"W-What was that?"

"I love you", Jungkook pushes himself from the comfortable chest and looks straight into Taehyung's shocked eyes, "I think I've fallen in love with you even though most of the time you've been trying to push me off. I'm sorry if you don't feel the same or if I'm going to quick-"

"Jungkook", Taehyung says sternly but falters when he sees his vulnerable lover with teary eyes, "Don't apologize".

Jungkook feels his heart drop in disappointment. Taehyung didn't say it back. That surely means he doesn't feel the same.

"I know what you're thinking, it's just- I don't know what love feels like, I've never had someone to love in my life. I like you, that's for sure, but I can't say love for now", Taehyung averts his gaze away and takes a deep breath of air, "But- I still have something to ask".

"What is it?", Jungkook asks, disappointment lacing his voice.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

❄️

I'm glad people let the whole toptae thing go and just focus on the storyline itself

Also I've been out all day looking for university dorms in the city but they're expensive, too small or moldyyyy