Everything he did was for me. And everything I did was for him.
I broke his heart.
A heart I cherished.
A heart he entrusted me with.
A heart he loved me with.
This was the last place I thought I'd see him.
This was the last way I thought we'd m...
Josh, the suave Texan, our intelligence specialist/hacker.
Bebe, the... I dunno he's a beast, our tactical advisor/strategist.
And Dexter, Italian as hell, our Commanding Officer. I'm always the undercover brother.
"Did you know?" I ask Dex who purses his lips.
"Depends," I press my lips together in a thin line, taking a calming breath.
"Did you know that Linny works there?" no surprise in his eyes. No guilt, nothing.
"Wait, Linny? The Linny?" Max asks earning equal looks of surprise.
"How the hell am I going to complete this mission Dex? Do you know what kind of position you put me in?" I ask rhetorically.
"It wasn't my decision Halls. The higher ups wanted you there because of your accounting history," I glare at him which doesn't faze him one bit.
"He's to be my assistant you jackass! Do you know how hard it will be? Having him so close?"
"I know-"
"You don't know shit! You don't fucking know! None of you do! I can't Dex, I can't walk away a second time," I rub my cheeks in frustration.
"Shit," Natalie murmurs.
Dex gives me a look. The same look he gave me when he ordered me to marry that bitch Yolanda Cole five years ago.
"No," I stand, "you can do whatever the fuck you want but I won't do that again. All of you are married and what the fuck am I left with? A box full of pictures? No. Fuck you and fuck this mission," I step away from my chair and turn to leave.
"You're a free agent after this job Halls. It's no business of mine what or who you do in your free time. I'm sorry you had to make that decision five years ago but don't put me on the spot for it. You know what they would have done to him had you said no," he's right. I know he's right. I didn't want my Linny to be a part of this.
I take my seat once more, "Quit it with the looks of pity you fucks," I fume. They're look at me like I just got my dick shot off or something.
CIA if you're wondering. My unit, The Anti-Money Laundering Unit. Recruited when I got the internship at Cole's Accounting, you know how they do, no family, no friends, no records.
I was perfect for the mission. Yolanda had a thing for me. And the CIA needed an in with Cole's Accounting. Win/win right?
Wrong. The phrase 'you're doing this for your country' is sorely over used. That's what they told me when Yolanda got it in her head that she wanted to marry me. I took her out to lunch a few times and that she considered dating. I never even slept with her for fuck's sake.
When I refused Yolanda she went crying to her sleaze bag daddy and he threatened me. Threatened my Linny. So there was only one choice then on. Bring that money laundering bastard down. I played the doting husband, the eager son-in-law for another year. Finally when he brought me in on the side business I axed his ass. He's serving twenty to life while Yolanda does four years. Come to think of it she's due out soon I think.
After that job I didn't know where Linny went, I got Josh to make a quick check on him before we left for our next mission. He's fine, was all he said and I went with that.
My field training on the job, guns and explosives, combat training were done after work. Some days I felt like dying instead. Lying to the love of my life, breaking his heart, abandoning him after everything he did for me. I feel like shooting myself in head most days. So many times I put that nuzzle to my temple.
"I can't do anything until next week when Harold leaves," I say swinging my chair side to side.
"I know. This week I need you to get a feel of the other workers. We are still tracing the transactions, running backgrounds but we still come up empty handed. We need to find this guy," Dex says lacing his fingers together under his chin.
"Or girl," we all look to Natalie, "oh fuck you guys, women can pull off corporate espionage too dick heads. Plus we're twice as vicious," she raises a perfectly shaped brow.
"Baby, don't bad talk your mother," Bebe says to his wife playfully. I could have never in a million years seen these two together but they fit.
"Fuck you too you over grown tree," she snaps at him with a small smile.
"Would have been funny if you knew your mother eh?" Max butts in making us chuckle and breaking the tension that is like a two feet thick concrete wall between me and them.
"Ok, that's it for today. Have a nice weekend," Dex says dismissing us.
I go home to my lonely apartment. My lonely life. Bare except for a canopy bed and a table and chair in the kitchen, one beat up sofa and TV in the living room.
I look at the box, resting innocently on the other side of the bed. I have opened this box probably a thousand times. Randomly picking out a note and shoving it in my lunch bag. Trying to hold on to what I had with Linny. All our pictures hang up. Sometimes I'd make soup and try to reincarnate the last night we spent together. But I can never get it tasting like he does.
I take off my clothes and lay down picking up the box and placing it on my stomach. I grip the chain I always wore with both our rings hanging from it. The only way I can keep us together.
Looking at the cheap blue plastic Linny cherished more than gold I smile remembering when I bought it. I was still in school. Linny was working as a dish washer at a diner. He supported us. All I had to do back then to make him happy was come home with good grades.
I was on my way to pick him up when I saw this ring. It caught my eye. It was corny as hell and I knew right then and there that Linny would love it. It cost me five dollars. Seeing the smile on his face and the passionate kiss I got you would swear I bought him a ring from Tiffany's. I made him my husband that day. I kiss the plastic, wishing it is my Linny. I miss him so much. There's no one else for me. There's been no one else and never will be.
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