Alexia

Prologue

Is this really happening? The love of my life, he's gone. Unlike others, my face was emotionless as I stared at the closed wooden casket that held his lifeless body. I just couldn't process it. I couldn't process that I would never be held in his arms again, I would never feel his soft lips against mine again, and that I would never hear his sweet voice again.

There's no way I could possibly know I was in love with him. I'm too young to know, right? Wrong. We were very much in love. The way we looked at each other, the butterflies in my stomach after almost 2 years of being together, the way I always felt so safe in his arms, nobody else could ever make me feel the way he does. I'll never get that feeling again. How was I so blind? Out of all people, I should've known that there was something wrong. I could've been there for him, I could've stopped him. But it's too late for that now, isn't it? I was so lost in thought, that I wasn't even paying attention to the speech.

"We therefore commit his body to the ground; earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust; in the sure and certain hope of the Resurrection to eternal life."

That's when the tears started to flow.

On the car ride home, we said nothing. Staring out the window, emotionless once again, with red puffy eyes and red streaks running down my cheeks, marking where the tears once were.

I ran to the bathroom when I got home, breaking down again in front of the mirror, losing all of my composure. When the tears stopped coming down, I stared at myself in the mirror for a while. Then I looked down at the razor on the counter. Picking it up with shaky hands, I brought it down to my wrists. Tears starting to roll down again, as I slid the razor across my skin.