Four

105 5 3

by dark-humor

by dark-humor

a few days later, Ryan's POV

;

When I wake up to the sound of soft breathing and the feeling of skin pressed against mine, I realize that I'm completely in love with Brendon Urie. If it isn't the dammed flowers, this boy will be the death of me.

It's been so long since I've been that happy. Brendon just makes me so unbelievably happy. The way he's not just there for pity, the way he smiles, his voice, and just every little thing about him. The sound of his laugh when we're outside at three in the morning and he chased me down the street, tackling me in a hug. The quiet "i love you"'s we share before drifting off to sleep.

I get up slowly, cautious not to wake the sleeping boy next to me, but the second I stand up I fall to the floor. Brendon stirs in his sleep, but the crash wasn't enough to wake him, thankfully. I try to pick myself up with support from my bedside table, but my arms are too shaky and my legs feel numb. I can't fucking move.

Flowers, bruises, little cuts and scabs, more flowers, and more bruises fill my legs. I sigh, leaning my head on the side of my bed. Maybe this is all a dream, maybe I'm not sitting here right now terrified that in one night I've lost the ability to use my fucking legs.

But I don't remember how this all started, I do, but I don't. And I try to think of it, but there's nothing. I can't hear my thoughts anymore. I'm scared. Afraid.

But my panicked thoughts are soon quieted, replaced with a different sort of panic when the taste of blood fills my mouth and I'm crying for some reason, but I just don't remember why. Just a few minutes ago I was so happy, I had Brendon. Had.

Why did I say had? I know why, I just don't want to admit it. I'd rather ignore the fact that everything is quickly turning black, I can feel my hands shaking, but I don't remember telling myself to breathe. I can hear someone calling my name but I feel like I'm underwater. I'm drowning or something, I just don't know anymore.

This is the end, isn't it?

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oh sorry this chapter is so short its sort of here to prepare you for the potential emotional pain you could feel in the next few chapters. The next ones will be longer though, back to the almost 1,000 words per chapter.