Grand Finale || r.r. + b.u.

eight

when i wake up, i feel a little bit better. i feel brendons arms around me and his soft breathing against my neck. i close my eyes once more, knowing that i'm safe right now and the one person i love the most is right next to me.

sleep seems so much easier when you're close to death.

(brendons pov)

i open my eyes and check my phone first thing. i forgot to tell my mom i went to ryan's house, so i should probably at least shoot her a text.

i feel ryan stir in his sleep against me, and careful not to wake him i sit up, running my hands through my hair. it's one of my worst habits, quite frankly. whenever i'm anxious i pull on my hair and mess it up because i have no idea what else to do.

i love him so much, and i can't stand the fact that he's sitting here nearly dead.

"hey," i hear ryan say, his voice is raspy and still laced with sleep.

"feeling better?" i ask him, leaning back over against him so i can hold his hand.

"a little bit," he says and sighs. his hair has gotten a lot longer, but i understand why. "i'm sorry i scared you. i shouldn't have called really."

my heart skips a beat. i'm honestly glad that he called because or else i wouldn't have had a clue what happened and if he died...

god. i'd probably start smoking again, even though he hates it.

watching someone you live die is one of the most traumatic things in the world, and as dramatic as it may sound i don't know what i'd do without ryan. before i has formally met him i was just some scared kid that didn't talk to many people and smoked too many cigarettes. not to mention i was just a depressed horny teenager before i ended up falling in love with someone. that's just enough to think about.

"i'm glad you called." i finally say, looking over as ryan gives me a sad smile.

"i know you are, but i still feel awful for worrying you, especially now that i'm feeling better. it could've just been a mess up and-"

"you're rambling as much as i usually do." i say, doing my best to diffuse ryan's thoughts. he gives me a real smile this time, as weak as it may have been.

"i love you." he says.

"i love you too."

he closes his eyes again and curls up next to me.  i could stay like this forever, but i don't like the thought of his death looming over me like a storm cloud. i'm still wearing his hoodie, mostly because it smells like him, which makes it home, and also because it's very comfortable.

i play with his hair, careful of the flowers and i just let him rest.