Whatever Occurs: Plotting With Good Intentions [#Wattys2019]

What Do I Do?

I had been dating Malyssa Venston for almost three years now. I knew that at some point, I'd have to make the move and propose to her. I came up with the idea of getting engaged by a lake or river, but I didn't know how to pull it off.

I asked my mom for help, and she said, "talk to Malyssa's parents. They know her like the back of their hands. Kayla Venston is the trickiest bitch I have ever fucking known!"

So that's what I did. I called her mom Kayla, and said, "I want to propose to your daughter, but I don't know how to pull this off! Help me!"

"When do you want to do this?" she asked.

"I want to get engaged to her in three months."

"Oh, man. That gives us a bunch of time to prepare! Depending on how long it takes to plan, it will determine when you can get engaged to her," Kayla replied, "on the other note, she's not very easy to trick, so we need to thoroughly think this through. I'm a very good liar, so we can pull this off. But since Malyssa isn't easy to fool, we need to make things seem as real to her as possible until the timing is right. Oh, this might be my biggest challenge yet!"

"All I know is she likes doing stuff all the time," I responded.

"I have an idea already!" Kayla yelled.

"What?! What is it?!"

"She loves shopping, so on the day you propose to her, I'll take her out shopping. I'll say, 'hey Malyssa, what are you doing on so-and-so?' And I know when Malyssa is available and when she's not, so that first part should be okay."

"Where does she like shopping at, specifically?"

"She likes antique stores and places like Maurice's," she added, "I don't have anything else down, but I will soon. I'm a tricky, filthy little bitch, so you're lucky you're having me plan this engagement. I've helped plan my sons's engagements to their wives, and all has ended well."

Kayla did seem pretty sure of herself, but since Malyssa is a good lie detector, she admitted that the plot to get her daughter engaged to me was not going to be an easy task. I spoke with Kayla about the proposal every day when Malyssa wasn't around, and so far, all was going well.