Let Your Heart Rule Your Head

23 years later...

 1992.

Brian made his way backstage after the Freddie Mercury Live Tribute. His Red Special was hanging behind his back. On his way, he shook a few hands. The roadies, the musicians, the manager, the engineers... Everybody smiled at him and congratulated him, patting his shoulders. But he didn't want to hear them. When he arrived in the dressing room, he made sure nobody was there and locked the door. He put his Red Special in his guitar case and closed it.

This concert was a flow of emotions. “Freddie's gone.” he said to himself. “And she was there.” She? His hazel eyes filled with tears. He abruptly sat on the floor, crying. During the concert, he was struggling to refrain his feelings. But it was until he saw her during the last song. He saw her standing there, in the front-row. Next to the stage. It had been a while, but he had recognised her immediately. How could he forget those grey eyes? Those that used to look at him lovingly? She had grown her hair and had combed it into a graceful braid falling on her chest.

How old was she now? 44? “How time flies” he moaned. She was 44, but she was still as gorgeous as she used to be in 1969. How many years had it been? “Twenty-three years. Twenty-three fucking years.” He huddled his knees together, pressing them against his chest. His forehead rested between them, and his hands grabbed some locks of his dark curly hair. She had smiled at him during the performance. She had smiled at him. Did she have children now? Was she married? Brian didn't even want to know. After twenty-three years, he still felt the same. He had been married too, he had children, but Ruby never left his mind. Deep down within himself, he had always loved her. How many songs had he written for her?

He grabbed a jacket that was on the floor next to him and threw it across the room. He stood up and found his tape player. He walked up to a couch on which a box full of tapes had been put. He rummaged through the box to find one particular tape. He grabbed it and sat down on the floor again. He put the tape in the player and rewinded it. It was a song that had been recorded four years before, but it had never been released. He pressed the play button and buried his face in his hands, crying like a child. The sound of a syntethizer escaped from the player. Then, it was Freddie's voice, singing Brian's lyrics. One of those he wrote just for her. For Ruby, the one he considered the love of his life. He let himself fall on his back, closing his eyes, letting the tears roll down his temples.

                                                           Too much love will kill you

                                                       If you can't make up your mind

                                  Torn between your lover and the love you leave behind