Relax/Divide

[4] Talkative

After a week and a couple of days, Vincent and I continued to see one another again.
Today we met up at the library again and sat in a hidden area to stay clear from view in case Aeron decided to come.
As usual Vincent and I would sit quietly, talking one in a while for something small. However I wanted to talk more today.

"Vincent?"
"Yeah?"
"Why do you continue to stay alone? Doesn't it ever feel well... Lonely?"
Vincent shrugged and kept reading his book on mythology.
"Is that it?" I asked after waiting for another response from him.
He flipped a page, "I mean I guess? I don't know I just decided to stay on my own. I like it that way."
"Is there like a reason? Or something like that?"

Vincent placed a bookmark in his book and closed it. He set it down next to him and looked that me.
"I guess the reason is because of one, my hallucinations and my reaction to them freaks people out so that's something. It's also because as you can tell, I'm terrible at socializing too so there's that. Anymore questions?"

I looked up to think of something else.
Then I had another question, "Your hallucinations. Why do you have them and for how long?"
"Feeling talkative today?"
I nodded.
"I've had it since I was young. I don't really know why or how but I think it may have been something with my dad."

I got worried for a moment, "Were you abused?"
He jumped and panicked, "No no no no no, my dad's really the coolest dad anyone could ever have. I think it's just genetic or something? I don't know I never looked into it but I guess I really should to be honest."
I sighed of relief, "That's good to hear. I mean not your hallucinations but like the whole not abused thing," I laughed nervously. "but how bad does it get?"

Vincent thought for a moment, finding a way to describe them to me.
"Well the worst it's gotten is when I lost my sense of reality I guess? I don't actually recall anything because it was a long time ago and I think I passed out too. My mom hasn't told me anything about it but it was pretty serious I assume. Normally I see vines, flowers, or insects crawl over people but sometimes it's a lot worse. I become detached or just can't act normally I guess."

Insects, flowers, and vines huh?

He scratched his head, "Though with you I never find those things I see like touch you or whatever. It's kinda weird? I mean as if my hallucinations aren't weird already but it's just uncommon. You stand out from the crowd."

I tilted my head, "Is that a good thing?"
He looked at me as if I piqued his interest,
"Well, now you're my friend so I'd say so."
I smiled, but Vincent didn't notice and just grabbed his book and continued reading.

We sat for a couple of minutes in silence but then I remembered that Susan invited me to her party the other day! She said I could invite Vincent if Aeron decided not to go, which he said he didn't want to because he doesn't really like Susan's parties all that much.
Oh my goodness I should ask Vincent now!

"Vincent!" I blurted out.
"Wha-"
"Come with me! To a party on Friday!" I leaned closer to him with a huge smile.
"Um... I don't know-" He said hesitantly.
"Please! It'll give you a chance to interact with others and put yourself out there! And you and I will have so much fun together, it'll be something new and exciting!!!"

He looked at me, considering the thought.
Vincent slumped, "Look Oleander, I don't fit in well with crowds and parties. And if I was left alone with someone? I don't know."
I held his hand, "I won't leave your side or leave you alone with anyone. It'll be a night for us to just chill instead of reading these books!"
"But what's wrong with books-" 
"Please Vincent! I want to spend this night with you, I want to help you go out there and be a part of something bigger instead of on your own!"
He thought hard and it took a moment but he sighed and said, "Okay. I'll go."
"Ahh!!! Thank you!!!" I hugged him tightly and squeed in excitement and happiness! Then I let go and saw him a bit surprised by my actions.
He held his book tightly then looked away for a moment. He then looked towards me, "But if anything serious happens you owe me."
"Okay!!!"
Except I just know he's gonna have a good time, and I was going to make sure of it.
I took my phone out and let Susan know I was coming to the party with Vincent.

After I did, I grabbed my book and opened it, but I couldn't focus on the reading. All I could think about is the night with Vincent and doing something that suited me best. I want it to be the most funnest night Vincent had ever experienced and hopefully if he enjoys it enough, he could even make more connections with others and party more often!

But then a part of me realized that I didn't really want that for him.
If he were to make connections he'd probably get tired of me and hang with his new friends.
He would forget all about me and leave.

As selfish as it sounds, Vincent is my friend. He's no one else's and I don't want to lose him to other people.

"Hey Oleander? You've been staring off into space for a while now. You okay?"
I turned my head towards him with a blank expression.

Vincent is important to me and I don't really understand why. But I can't lose that. I don't want to lose it.

"Oleander?"

And the fact that I'm his only friend means so much to me.
I don't have to worry about losing his attention or anything, because he's going to stay regardless.
When other people come into the equation I'm left all alone.
I don't want to be alone.

"Um... Ollie?" Vincent waved his hand in front of my face.
I jumped a little, "What? Oh I'm sorry I was thinking really hard ah- Wait. Did you just call me Ollie?"
"Huh-Oh! I-well yeah?"
"Sorry, you just always call me by my full name I thought it was odd. Well not odd but-"
He interrupted me abruptly, "It's a one time thing, don't worry about it. I just didn't know how else to get your attention is all." He pouted and turned away, trying to focus on his reading.

"Hah, okay sure Vinny."
He gave me a look, his face was a bit flushed but he wasn't mad, more flustered really.
"Don't call me that. It's like a pet name I'm not a huge fan of those."
I gave him a smug look, "Sure Vinny, anything for you~" I said playfully while wiggling my eyebrows.
"S-Seriously stop, now you're the one freaking me out." He stammered.
I grinned, "Aw c'mon don't deny it! You like it!!"
He had trouble maintaining eye contact with me, "Who said I liked it? I didn't. Not Vinny at least."
I couldn't help but admire his attempt to deny the facts, "Okay... Then it'll just be Vince! How's that?"
He sighed, a bit frustrated with me, "Fine, as long as it's not Vinny and it'll get you to stop bugging me about it."
I laughed, "Okay! Vince it is!" I gave him a big smile.
For a moment, I saw him, or at least I think I did, stare at me in a way I never seen him look at me before. Almost as if he was in awe or admired something. Though I wasn't sure if it was just me?
He quickly turned away however and rolled his eyes at my childish behavior.

Vince denies it but I think he really enjoys not being alone for once.
I'm glad I can be the one who makes him feel in such a way.