THE SASAENG

forteen

i smiled to sohyeon and walked towards the glass door of the practicing room, she was already siting on the floor crossing her legs wiping the wet from her forhead, * you were amazing*i said as i throw my bag on the floor and sit facing her crossed my legs too,she chuckled befor she asks me * so what is there to tell me hyerimaa?* looking excited, i smiled at her then grap my bag to open it, i get the tickets out and i gave her one, * what is this? taylor swift concert again?* i laughed but she remain silent after she checked it, * eeh BTS conceert?* she asked looking at me confused,* yes it's BTS concert this time*i told her but she sighed * hyerima im sorry but i don't think i'll go, i don't really like kpop* she said looking at me with sad eyes, i sighed heavly then get close to her *i know everything* i said but she looked at me with more confused eyes * what do you mean?* she asked , * i mean that i know your story with BTS,with jhope, or at least i think i know* sohyeon just was amazed, i know she was surprised, and i feel bad that i waited until now to tell her, but it's the best thing i can do to let her see hobi again, * sohyeon...* i called her *who are you lee hyerim, and how you know my story with jhope?* she said almost angry and upset and i sighed again * it's a very long story for me too, if i start telling you, we'll stay here until the morning* she put the tickets by her side and crosed her arms * i wasn't planning to sleep either, and by hearing you saying that, i don't think i can sleep anyway, so just go ahead i'm listening * she was totally ready, but i wasn't, i feel awful eachtime i remembre the past, and i know she will hate me if she knows what i've done to jhope and the others, but it's better to make everything clear now, or else i will ruin the chance for her and hobi because i know she won't go with me recoreding to her reaction now. i looked at her and i started to feel sad already, i really can't manage to loose another friend of mine.

i stayed silent to get my shit together * okay* i said and she wigeled her eyebrows ones telling me to start already.

*when i was living in korea...ect*i started talking non stop, and what was wondering me is that she didn't interrupt me at all, she was just giving face expressions, sometimes i was feeling that she was about to explose, cry, or punch me in the face but in some moment she was just staring at me with sad eyes like she already knows the feeling i feel right now.

*he moved on already when i was there, and i manage to finish things with Mr choi, and by the time i confessed to the boys, everything ends, and i had to travel here to study, that was my story for real*

i was putting my head down avoiding eye contact with sohyeon as i was letting my tears falling down, i know i promised that i will never cry again, but it just not that easy, i think i'm not over it yet.

she was silent and all i've heard was sounds of her nose, suddnly i felt warm arms around my shouldrs, she hugged me and i put my head on her shoulders. * i'm really sorry that you went through all this alone hyerima,it must be hard for you that jungkook moved on alredy, don't be sad, you'll just get over it, like i'm trying to do now* sohyeon finished and i broke the hug,i looked at her wondering what she meant, does she think that jhope already moved on ?

*hobi still loves you, and loves you so much, he never gave up looking for you, and he's waiting for the day that he can meet you again, you are his true love sohyeon* i said and she pushed away * stopthe nonesense hyerim, this is impossible, after years? this is so impossible* she said standing up and i did too * why impossible? did you move on?* i asked but she didn't answer * you coudn't stop loving him all this years, and he didn't too, you coudn't imagine yourself being with someone else and he is too, you are thinking wrong sohyeon, trust me he still loves you the same*

* but it's me who left suddnly without a word or a goodbye, how he can't be mad on me* she asked, * he isn't mad on you, buy mad on himself, he thinks that it's his fault that you you left, he thinks that he didn't protect you as he should, and sometimes he wished that he isn't famous so he can love you in a normal way without being in troubles* i said as was getting closer to her, she just cries her tears, and i hugged her * trust me, he still want you so bad, and i want you to meet him as soon as he comes here* she nodded on my shoulder and i smiled to myself feeeling happy that i can do something about it,she moved away * what about you?*she asked me , * me?* i sais , she noded * why don't you try to meet jungkook and talk to him, maybe he calmed don now* she said and i smiled with a heavy smile * i already told you that jungkook moved on in front of my eyes sohyeon, there is no us again, and i know i don't diserve him, he needs someone better than me, who can make him happier* , * i'm sorry* she said, i looked at her smiling trying to act like it dosesn't hurt anymore, i held my bag from the ground befor i put my left hand on her shoulder ,* you promise taht you will come with me?* i asked her for conformation, * yes* she said and i smiled to her * you promised, don't back off, i have to go now, see you soon* i walked towards the door waving goodbye to her * be careful on your way home, goodnight and thank you lee hyerim* she screamed and i just raised my hand for her without turning around, my pain is back and i need to let it out tonight ...

~~~~ Author note ~~~~

i feel really sad for hyerim

i want to hug her TT