THE SASAENG

forty two

________ hyerim pov_______

after one week, bts concert in paris

*hello*

*hello sohyeon aah*

* oh hyerimaah, are you ready ?*

* i suppose to ask you the same quastion*

*well yes i'm fully ready, is william coming*

* yes he's coming, he"ll pick us after 15 minutes,we'll be there soon*

*okay see you*

i hanged up the phone with sohyeon and wento to my bed to check my bagpack for the last time,it's been a long time since i upload something in my fansite page, i miss me there haha, my camera set was ready my laptop was ready, everything is fine,my black dressing and snapback are ready too, let's go

we arrived at the concert, william was not that excited i bet he comes just not to feel bad that he ignores my invitation, by the way he've been wierd lately, whatever, i feel awsome because i got us a good spot, well my experience with bts concerts allows me to get a good one, i saw as sohyeon was hella nervous, i grapped her arm,and she stopped putting her hand on her chest

* hyerimaah , i don't think i can do this, it suddnly became hard to see him again i can't* she was trying to run away, is she serious right now ? there no time to back up, * girl, get your ass here,you were dine a while ago, it's now or never* i said as a dragged her to her place again stopping her and she seems like she got my words, if she wants himback, its really now or never.

i feel like a bitch, i feel like i'll die at anytime soon, i was happy foe her and hobi,but i really didn't think about myself, i really miss him, my plan in moving on didn't really goes well, i don't know anything at this moment , i just miss him and i want to see him so bad.

the stage was still empty, they didn't comes out yet, i set myself ready, sohyeon next to my left side was chilling a bit , william in my right side was just sitting looking around at the huge crawd * ma, i didn't knew it will be like this, you guys are totally crazy, what's the name of this fandom again huh?* he asked me * we are the ARMY * i said , * ARMY , hmm intrested* i chuckled as he turns to watch the fans singing, while me, i didn't know how to feel anymore, i thought of running outside and avoide the painful scene i'm gonna see after a while, i though of covering my eyes for damn two hours, and i thought also of running ther and beg him to love me again, i feel like a stupid bitch, what can i do, i really can't help it, no no no , calm down , enough ruining lives, just do your work ang get lost to your stupid dorm and cry for one night and everything will be okay the next morning, at leat i guess that.

i start to set my things when sohyeon was smiling at me * are you okay?* he asked me * well yes i am*i smiled back but she didn't move *okay, i am not okay, i really think i'll day at any moment* i told her honestly and she hugged me * it's okay, you're really a great lover, i wish i was as courage as you* i steped back * you are , now * i told her and she smiled, we turned to the stage as the boys got out ans stood there greeting the fans , i felt like i'll faint, my eyes were searching just for his face, and yes i spotted him standidng there looking so happy on the stage, where he actually belongs, my tears fell down and my heart skipped like a thosand beat, don't wonder how i didn't die okay , i was just lucky enough to stay alive.

i held my camera and started to take pictures non stop, it's like my camera didn't want to stop taking pictures of him, i've never took this much before, it's like i'm trying to save every moment of today, because probably i won't see him again or at leat any time soon.

oh shit, i forgot about sohyeon, i turned to check on her, and she was sitting there like a proud mommy, by the look in her eyes you can know how much she really loves him, if you wonder how she gonna meet him, well you know, i have my ways,wink

i was trying my best to hide, at the same time i was fighting so hard to get good pictures, i was posing themat the same time and damn my followers are online even in the concert..

"are you here?"

" i really want to meet you "

"guys let her be, she"s busy"

" i realy want to see you, can't you meet us after the concert"

"that was amazing jungkook has to see this"

i sighed,well no i can't meet you guys, i keep uploding pictures all the time, but i put my camrea down to enjoy the sight of him for the rest of the time befor he can back ther without returning, i was fighting my tears, i was happy and sad at the same time, sohyeon next to me was chaking me non stop, she was so damn nervous because she will be infront of hobi after a while, i really want to see how his reaction will be , he'll die , from hapiness of course.