PB and Jay

Gift

  "Hey Jay, I got you something."

  "I knew you didn't forget!"

  "Forget? Oh um, yeah, of course I would never forget."

  "I got you something too but I need to blindfold you first."

  "I don't really like blindfolds...brings me back to my failure to hit the pinata in multiple elementary school birthdays."

  "Really? It's like whenever you bring up your childhood it's always related to failure. You had to be good at something as a kid." 

  "...um...Oh! I can roll my r's." 

  "Say burrito in spanish."

  "Burrrrrito."

  "Nice."

  "Thank you. Anyways just promise me you'll use this ok? Here."

  "Sweet, dinosaur pj's! Do they glow in the dark?"

  "If they don't I want my money back."

  "That's so awesome, it's really too bad I don't wear pj's. But hey, I could totally use them to go to Walmart to pick up Cheetos when we run out at 2 a.m. I could never come up with the right outfit for the occasion but this is perfect."

  "Oh...actually I'm going to need you to start wearing them."

  "Yeah, I can't do that. That's like sleeping with a wig on. It'd just be uncomfortable."

  "You know who else is uncomfortable? I am, when you sleepwalk at ten a.m. and my cousin comes over and finds you butt naked trying to tie your shoes saying you needed to go to the moon and you'll be back in five minutes."

  "So that's why I woke with a shoe on. This cousin, was it the cute one or the one named Brad?"

  "The Brad one."

  "Danggit!"

  "So will you wear the pj's now?"

  "Will you sleep with a wig on?"

  "I would if that means you'd wear pajamas."

  "One moment." *Rummages through his closet* "Perfect."

  "You have a wig in your closet?"

  "Please, there's nothing I don't have in that closet. Here you go."

  "This is a purple afro. You want me to sleep wearing an afro?"

  "You want me to sleep wearing pajamas?"

  "Well played...it's itchy."

  "Yeah, you don't get used to that."

  "So what did you get me?"

  "Oh right, yeah I completely forgot about today."

  "Wait so what was the blindfold for?"

  "I was going to blindfold you and stuff the first thing I found in a gift bag."