Under the Sunlight

Chapter 8

On Monday morning, Stone was and wasn't looking forward to going into work. On the one hand, he no longer had one secret weighing on him. Having his co-workers know about his child care situation would make things so much smoother all around. On the other hand, he wasn't looking forward to the talk with Baird that was promised.

Baird was waiting for him when he arrived, holding out a cup of coffee. "Let's go have a chat."

He nodded, taking her offering and followed her to one of the work rooms.

Stone assumed Baird would break into a lecture but instead she pulled up a stool at the work table and motioned for him to do likewise. And for a while, she didn't say anything just sipped her coffee in silence, he eventually doing the same.

Finally, just slightly irritated with her silence, "Baird?"

"I'm gathering my thoughts and deciding how best to do this," Baird sighed. "Just when I'd figured out exactly how to handle you guys, you throw this into the mix."

Stone nodded. "I realize that."

"Look Stone, I didn't know your situation but you did. And you've taken unnecessary chances. I expect a certain amount of that behavior out of Jones because he thinks he's invincible and Cassandra because she thinks she's expendable. . ." Baird didn't miss the look of pain that briefly crossed Stone's features but she continued her train of thought. "But you, like I said, you know you have a kid at home. That should have kicked in your self-preservation instincts."

Stone bit his lip but said, "it does. More than you realize. It's just . . . ."

"Just what?"

"I compartmentalize, Baird. I've done it my whole life. I had to. I know none of you understand why, but just believe me when I say I had to do it to survive. Art historian, that was one box. Oil rigger that was another. Husband and father. And then . . .well Librarian became an entirely different box. I'm so used to doing that, that it became second nature. Librarian Stone is all about the job and even though Max is always, always in my thoughts, my actions don't always indicate that. I'm tryin' Baird, but you gotta understand this is as hard for me as it is for you."

Baird took another sip of her coffee, understanding crossing her features. "I get it. I actually should have realized that about you. And Cassandra probably would try to keep you grounded, but she was sworn to your secret?"

He nodded. "It's not that she hasn't . . . ."

"Expressed the same worries?"

"Yeah, that's a good way of puttin' it."

"Well now that we all know, we'll make sure we keep you focused. I'm certainly reevaluating what we need to do. And don't worry, you're not going to be grounded. I know what you're good at. But again we're concentrating on your brain first. You're good in a fight, but you'll be even better now that we know to keep your head in it. And having a reminder of what you have at home? I've seen that work wonders."

Stone smiled, "is that all you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Mostly, yeah," Baird said. "I have an idea of how to proceed and how to best approach an idea Flynn had over the weekend. Don't worry, it'll all work out."

"Well, that's a relief. I was kinda afraid you were gonna yell at me."

"I'm a bit disappointed in you, Stone, but other than that. . . ."

Stone couldn't quite hide the expression that crossed his face. But Baird was surprised that it was less shame than resignation. She was also quite certain that he wouldn't confide in her over why exactly that was. So she tried a different tact.