Unforgivable (A Severus Snape Love Story)

Chapter 15

Severus wouldn't let me out of his sight for the next few days. He knew I wanted to hurt myself, but didn't realise that I would want to hide the scars somewhere other than my hands.

When he finally let me go somewhere on my own, it was the first day of Christmas holiday. I took a long walk that snowy morning and I ended up in front of Dumbledore's office. Luckily, Umbridge was still using her DADA office. I spoke the password and the gargoyle hopped aside. I needed to see a memory that Dumbledore had hidden from me for years. The day he came to me. What had he seen? He took my memory of this away as well, and told me what he thought I needed to know.

I opened the cabinet that held the pensive and the vials of memories, searching until I found the one I needed. The label was old and the vial was dusty, telling me that it hadn't been looked at in years.

I entered the memory and felt myself falling

falling

falling

down towards the ground. I was caught by the magic of the memory and saw Dumbledore walking up to the doors of the asylum. He spoke with a woman at the front desk inside, and then a doctor led him to a wing of the asylum that was my home for nearly a year.

"Sir, are you sure you want to see her? She is horrible! She keeps telling us she killed her father with magic, and that her father had killed her mother. She refuses to tell us what really happened. She is violent and suffers from severe depression and denial. We've had to restrain her in a padded cell to keep her from hurting herself and others," the doctor said.

"Oh, I'm sure, doctor. Our institute has handled cases like hers for years." Cases like mine, huh? I had to chuckle at this.

"Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you." The doctor unlocked the door to the wing and led Dumbledore to a cell. Cell 97. So that's why I have a fixation with that number! I know I'm mentally sick, but I didn't realise just how sick I was until now. Depression, I knew. But I had been violent? I hadn't been in denial; I told them the truth! But violence? Who had I tried to hurt?

The cell door creaked open and I walked in before Dumbledore could. The sight was horrifying.

A little girl, wearing a blood-stained straight jacket, had a chain around her waist, which was anchored to one of the padded walls. Her face was dirty and she looked like a wild animal.

"Who are you?" And asked threateningly.

"My name is Professor Dumbledore, my dear. I've come to speak with you."

"About what?" the younger me snarled. "My parents?"

"No, actually. It's about you, not what you've done or seen." The ten-year-old stood and lunged at Dumbledore, screaming. She was held back by the chain, and she bared her teeth at the wizard.

"I won't talk with that doctor in here! I won't talk in here!"

"Alright, my dear. You don't have to. I promise, if you calm down and stay that way, we can go to another room without the doctor and the two of us can talk." I took deep breaths and was soon unchained and led to another room where Dumbledore told me that I was not crazy, that I really did have magical powers, and that he could teach me to control them. But the Ministry of Magic was angry with me at the moment. He had worked something out with them, thought. And the rest is history.

I exited the memory. I had another vial to look at that was even dustier than the last. The label read,

Asylum

I poured it into the pensive after removing the other memory and was about to enter the scene when I felt someone touch my shoulder.

I turned quickly and saw Snape standing there, looking at me cautiously.

"What?" I asked. "Are you here to stop me?"

"No. I'm here to keep you from going into this alone. Dumbledore made me promise not to let you see that one alone." It must have been bad, then, if Albus made Severus promise to keep me safe from my own memories.

He took my hand in his and squeezed it right before we entered the memory that I didn't have anymore.

I was immediately glad I didn't remember it.

It began with my interrogation at the asylum.

"Will you tell us what happened that night, Posey?" Asked the doctor from that last memory I saw. The child in the chair nodded.

"I heard mummy and daddy fighting, and I ran to see what was the matter. Then daddy shot mommy with a gun and turned to me. I screamed and he started floating and holding his neck. He went limp and fell down dead. I did it. I killed him with magic." The doctor was taking notes, but he didn't believe me.

"Why won't you tell us what the police told us, Posey?"

"Because the police are liars." The memory then shifted and I saw the child being strapped to a chair. She was fighting it hard, and kicked out at the nurse and the doctor. They slapped her and she screamed at them.

"WHY WON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?!? I'M TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!!"

"NO, YOU AREN'T! YOU'VE MADE UP A FANTASY TO KEEP THE TRUTH FROM YOURSELF!" the doctor roared back. He hit the girl again and again.

"Your mother killed your father and then herself! That is the truth!"

"No it's not!" Another strike. I was then shown as being wrapped in a straight jacket and the doctor picked me up as if I were a rag doll and threw me into the padded cell so hard I hit the opposite wall.

I saw myself use magic to break out of the straight jacket and I started banging on the door.

"LET ME OUT! PLEASE! I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!" A nurse came in and shot something into my arm to make me calm down, and then I was restrained with another jacket and a chain.

That was the end of the memory.

I collapsed onto the floor of Dumbledore's office and began to sob violently.

Severus touched my shoulder to calm me, but I flinched. I felt as though I had just lived that memory for the first time, and I understood why Dumbledore removed it from my mind. He didn't want me to be afraid of him or anyone at Hogwarts. But now I was terrified of everyone who knew my secret, including Severus.

"Posey, it's me, Severus," he said calmly, looking into my eyes.

"You believe me, don't you?" I whimpered. He nodded.

"Of course I do. I saw it with my own eyes, Atropose. You showed me the memory, remember?"

I nodded and tried to stand, but my legs were failing me. Severus bent down to help me up, but I moved away from him.

"What are you so afraid of?" he asked cautiously.

"Don't hurt me! Please!" I shouted, tears pouring down my face.

"Posey, I would never hurt you!" He announced. "I could never hurt the girl I love!" His eyes widened at his words and he covered his mouth before running from the office, leaving me alone with a broken mind and a confused expression.