Unforgivable (A Severus Snape Love Story)

Chapter 20

Classes began again and I refused to play nice. That bitch got rid of Dumbledore! I would not stand for that!

"I won't go to her class!" I shouted, throwing a shoe at Severus and hitting the doorframe near his arm.

"You have to," he said with a sigh, crossing his arms and giving me "the look." I groaned and buried my face in my hands.

"Pwease don't make me," I muttered.

"Go to class, Posey. And if you attend all your classes this week, you'll get a special surprise on Friday night that may spill over into Saturday morning." With that, I pulled on my shoes, grabbed my bag, kissed his cheek and walked out.

Wait.

Did he just use the promise of sex to make me do something he wanted me to do? That's what I do! Mental note, stop doing that to him so maybe he'll stop doing it to you.

I trudged (stomped) into DADA and slumped into my seat. I didn't care that I was in a skirt, and I propped my feet up in the chair in front of me. I slouched, grumbled about everything the woman said, and landed myself a detention with her that night. Greeeeaaaaate.

When I told Severus what I did, he face palmed and glared at me. I looked down at my hands and hid my smile.

"Posey, are you trying to drive me mad?"

"No, I'm trying to make Umbridge quit!" He gave an exasperated sigh and buried his face in his hands.

"I don't think you're succeeding, my dear," he grumbled. "If anything, you're making my life harder! You're in my house, so she's going to make me speak to you about your behaviour while she's here. Please, take a page out of Hagrid's book and lay as low as possible. Please." I hugged Severus and sighed.

"I'll try."

"Trying isn't good enough. Do it. I don't want to deal with her any more than you do. She came into my class and insulted me in front of my students!" My head snapped up and I stared into his eyes.

"The bitch will pay," I hissed, beginning to march away. Snape grabbed my arm and yanked me back.

"Just go to your detention and don't do anything rash," he said.

"Is that an order?" I asked with a sly smile.

"Yes. That is an order. You are forbidden from doing anything that may lead to you getting into more trouble."

"Fine, you kinky bastard," I grumbled, crossing my arms. "You don't leave room for loopholes, do you?"

"No, I don't. Now go. You wouldn't want to be late. If you're late, I'll be forced to punish you." He grinned at me and I laughed as I walked out of his quarters and up all the stairs.

When I arrived, she had her usual sickeningly sweet smile and she was standing behind her desk.

"Hello, dear," she purred. I thought I was going to puke! "You'll be doing lines again. Perhaps you need another message to sink in. Soon, you will realize the gravity of your actions here at Hogwarts." I sat and picked up the evil quill reluctantly. I wanted to carve scars into my skin, but not for her pleasure.

"What will I be writing, Professor?"

"What comes to mind when you think of yourself?" Oh my gosh was she really going to use my self-hatred against me?

"Piece of shit," I choked out. I was fighting back my tears, not wanting to give her any sort of satisfaction.

"Then that's what you'll write. And I'll tell you when to stop. Begin." I scratched the letters onto the parchment, feeling the familiar sensation of knives carving my strokes into the back of my hand. After about fifteen lines, she told me to take a break.

She took my quill and handed me a new one.

"Begin again. The same phrase." I was confused, but then the pain came back. But it wasn't on my hand.

It was on my forehead. I felt each letter being carved into my face. Then she handed me a different quill.

It was carved into my left cheek.

New quill.

Left wrist.

New quill.

Right wrist.

New quill.

The back of my neck.

She finally let me stop and I practically ran out. I flew into the girl's bathroom and looked at the damage.

Each stroke of the quills left their marks. Painfully, obviously, cruelly. I was branded now. Scars covered me, all of them bearing the phrase 'Piece of shit.'

How would I hide this? What was I going to tell Severus?

I heard a commotion in the hall and saw Harry Potter being dragged to Umbridge's office by Filch. Now he was in for it too? Fan-bloody- tastic.

I couldn't do it anymore. I can't.

I flew down the stairs to Severus's quarters and slipped in quietly. I knew what I had to do, whether he knew it or not. I wrote a note quickly.

My Dearest Severus,

I am about to do something that you will hate me for. But please know that I am doing this because I have to. With everything that's happened and that I know now, it would be foolish to continue my meaningless existence. My last request, if it is possible, is to become a Hogwarts ghost. Today is the 17th of March. I expect to see you at my Death-day party next year, you dark-haired bastard.
I love you with all or my heart.
Atropose Richter

I folded it, kissed it, and dropped it as I walked by him. He spoke, but I was out the door and practically sprinting up the stairs.

I ran and ran and ran until I reached the Astronomy tower.

We always ended up here. Always.

I heard footsteps as I caught my breath. I looked out and saw a few students lingering I  the courtyard below. They would be struck with horror soon. I heard a shout.

"No! Atropose! No, please don't!"

I ignored him and I took a step up. I stood on the stone wall that stood between myself and my future. Or lack there of.

"Posey," he said demandingly. I turned and he was struck with horror. He saw my new markings.

"Did she do this to you?" I said nothing. I let tears fall from my eyes and I was ready to die.

"Posey, please! No!" He started to move toward me carefully. "No, Posey! I love you!"

"Sev... I love you too," I muttered. Then I turned away and leaned forward.