Kisses in the Vineyard //✔️//

iii

The call was excruciating.

Arthur understood, after about 10 minutes of complaining. I finally got him to reason. He finally saw that I wasn't worth this much drama anymore. He didn't want Carter Stanford in our lives, he didn't want the necessary drama from him and what had happened in the past to come back. So, the friends with benefits thing we had going on, ended at the end of that phone call. Arthur Rogers gave up on me again.

I got tossed away again.

I needed a drink. And more than I wanted food in my stomach. However, somehow, I managed to make it back to the dinner table with some food left.

"I'm sorry. That was a work call." It was my excuse, the moment I sat back down at the table.

"Oh that's alright sweet pea, would you like some dinner?" My mother said, smiling through her nude lipstick.

"I'll just grab a small plate, thanks mum. Any hard stuff dad?" I turned and looked at him. He was in mid conversation with Carter.

"Scotch? Whisky?" He turned to me.

"Anything. I'll have it neat please." I needed a drink bad, after that long conversation that lead nowhere. My eyes glanced over at Kelly, she looked at my concerned, I ignored it and dove into grabbing some food.

My eyes wondered to some roast pork, broccoli in soy sauce and some potato au gratin. I needed some food in me, if I wanted to drink more. Dad appeared shortly after I grabbed my food.

"I was given this as a gift. It's apple pie moonshine, nice stuff, but not my taste. It might be yours instead." He placed the glass in my hand and took a much needed sip. It was smooth, creamy and actually tasted like Apple pie.

"Very nice, I'll take the bottle if you don't want it?"

"It's all yours then." He sat back down and began conversation with Carter and Scott again. Kelly was glancing over at me constantly and my mum was having a conversation with Kelly's parents.

I leaned back into my chair, enjoying my dinner and sipping my moonshine quietly. I sat there, observing the dinner table. The boys were discussing the latest football match that had been played, my mum was enjoying talking about our winery to Kelly's parents and how amazing it is to have the wedding here. Kelly was, however, holding hands with my brother, constantly changing between conversations.

I sipped the last drop of my moonshine and I instantly wanted more. I excused myself from the table.

"In the bar dad?" I asked, rising my empt glass.

"Yeah, on the bar itself."

I nodded a reply and headed straight to the lounge room, with the bar in tucked right into the corner. I somehow made it, without falling over. Maybe the food helped clear my empty, alcoholic stomach. But I was needing that moonshine to get my through dessert and the emptiness I felt inside me. I didn't think Arthur breaking up with me, again, would effect me like this.

I once again, felt alone. I felt nothing, like my heart couldn't take any more. Maybe I'm being dramatic or overthinking everything, but I just wanted to be loved. I wanted to feel something again, I want butterflies and tingly lips and fireworks going off. I thought I felt something with Arthur again, but I could have been lying to myself. In fact, I probably was lying to myself, to hide the fact that I can't get over the one guy I never wanted to fall in love with.

I poured another glass of the apple pie moonshine. I closed my eyes and knocked the glass back. Probably wasn't the smart idea, mixing drinks, or sculling the drink down. But, boy oh boy, I needed it. I looked at the bottle and poured myself another.