Not His Juliet

Chapter 13

Not His Juliet by K. Jessica Ramirez

Chapter 13:

Austin nudges me forward and I follow behind him reminding myself to step one foot in front of the other. I don't even know what to think anymore. What do you say to the man who abandoned you like an unwanted puppy? Do you become angry and curse his name to the heavens? Do you listen to him and forgive? Do you get happy because you missed him terribly? Well I'll tell you what I do, I stand there silent as Austin, my I don’t even know what he is at the moment, leads me to his Chevy truck.

Stark hasn't said anything, allowing me to understand what just prospered. I've felt many types of numb before in my lifetime. I've felt the numbness of losing yourself to a drug, of losing everyone around you and I've learned that in every numb you lose something. In this numb I feel complete numb to the point of reminding myself to breath and blink. I feel myself losing my sanity. The little I had of it anyway.

I can feel Austin staring at me but I can't make myself turn or even care honestly. Poor guy just his luck to get an inside view of Angela White only to be pushed out almost immediately. I've noticed that Austin sobers up pretty quickly in tense situations. A voice pulls me from my newfound numb. His voice.

"Angie?" Stark asks into the phone.

I feel all numb leave my body being replaced by hot fury. I am not, nor will I ever be the little girl I once was. I am not Angie and I won't answer to that name, ever.

"My name is Angela White. You will address me as so or you will not speak to me at all." I snap into the phone my voice boarder line between professional anger and venom anger.

I hear a sharp intake of breath from the other end of the call. Good. He deserves to see the person he's made me become. I don't care if I surprised him this is me now and I have no intentions of returning to the old me.

"Yes of course sorry sweetie."

"I will not state it again father" I curtly reply into the phone my voice going sarcastic on the word father before I continue, "my name is Angela White."

"Again my apologies." Stark states with a sigh.

I almost feel bad about my harshness for him but I won't allow myself to pity him. He does not deserve it. He never visited, or called or even sent a goddamn email. He wasn't there for any of the important stuff growing up. He broke my family. He did the impossible and broke Nikki and me apart.

The line goes silent again but I don't dare utter a word first. 

"Angela I haven't spoken to you in years will you please hear me out?" Stark beg into the receiver.

For a moment I see an old version of my dad. Him and I building the tree house in the middle of the forest, him playing games with me, him sneaking me a cookie before dinner against my mother’s wishes. I push the memories to the back of my mind. I can't be sad I need to be angry. I owe it to myself to be angry. I owe it to Mother and Nikki. Even if my own relationships with them are questionable I never abandoned them. I left California when I realized I had nothing left there.

"That has been of your own pleasure." I curtly reply.

"Angela do you really believe it was my wish to leave my only daughters behind? Do you not think I wondered of you girls?" Stark pleas.

"I would not know I never heard from you." I reply deciding to keep this call as professional as I can muster under the circumstances.

"Fair enough..." Stark sighs in defeat before continuing with the same stubbornness I remember, "But I still ask you hear me out."