At A Nerd's Sevice

Chapter 13~ At a Nerd's Numbness

*Alondra's POV*

Mother was way too embarrassed to come and talk to me. Honestly that did not bother me at all. I wanted all this to go away. The disaster, the emotions and all the people that came with it.

I was currently in the shower. The water and the tears just mixed so I couldn't tell how hard I was crying. Which was a good thing.

I tried taking my mind off of things but I couldn't! If I wasn't thinking of the man I called father, then I was thinking of how I overreacted! If I wasn't thinking about that I was thinking about how the houseboy just saw the stunt I pulled and how I was too selfish, that I couldn't help my best friend with her small mistake.

After a long while I could hear Zack calling my name. Turning the water off, I wrapped a towel around my body tightly and cracked open the door.

There Zack was at the very corner of it.
"Could you pass me my clothes?" I barely heard what I said and I doubt Zack could, but nonetheless he ran over to my drawers and started pulling out clothes.

I saw as he touched my undergarments but I wasn't even phased. I was just numb.
I watched as his lips moved to form words and then looked at the clothes in his hands. I reached for them and shut the door. My hands slowly put on the clothes and after I was done I stared at myself in the mirror.

I studied myself. I rarely actually looked at myself. My acne was horrible and my eyelids all around were dark and red. My face was puffy as well as my eyes. My wet hair was dripping onto my gray shirt causing two damp spots right in the middle of my bra. My eyebrows needed to be plucked and my lips needed chapstick. I looked gross to say the least.

I opened the door only to see Zack and Dean talking at the end of my bed. I turned the lights off and wrapped myself in my covers.

I could feel both their eyes on me but I closed mine and attempted to fall asleep.

Dean called out to me and I wanted to tell him to leave. I could not. I physically couldn't. I knew if I said anything I would start balling my eyes out again so I let him talk and he did. They both did actually until they came to a stop and realized it was pointless. I reopened my eyes and starred at the light coming in from the bottom of my door.

Why could my parents not spend time with me? Was it actually their job or was it me? Was I that much of an accident that they didn't value me as a child?

With those thoughts in my mind I fell asleep on a pillow wet with my tears.

***

"Alondra get up. You have to get ready for school!"

My eyes were fast open and I sat up quickly. I looked at my clock and it was ten. My heart was beating like crazy as I scurried out of bed. Only to be held back by a pair of hands. I looked up at the culprit in anger.

As I was about to object, he opened up his mouth. "It's Sunday."

I was relieved.

"Sorry to scare you like that, but you wouldn't get up." Zack gave me a light smile.

I simply stared at him. I didn't feel like talking to anyone or seeing anyone really.

"Are you hungry?" He asked. I rejected whatever offer he was proposing by shaking my head.

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Wanna talk about it?"

Did he seriously just ask me this? "No Zack, I don't want to talk about it. I'm not hungry, leave me please."

"Why?"

"Why do you keep asking me questions? I simply don't feel like it. Please leave."

"Why do you want me to leave?" He questioned again.

"Because I want to be left alone. I don't feel like talking to anyone." I answered with attitude dripping from my mouth.

"I'm not just anyone Alondra." He stared at me for a reaction.

I sighed heavily. "Okay." I walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth and urinate.

When I walked back out I expected him to be gone. Only he made himself comfortable on my desk chair.

"Alondra, we love you and whatever you're thinking, probably questioning yourself to death, stop."

That little speech was supposed to comfort me. Only it made me angrier. "Zack you know nothing. Leave now!"

"I know a lot more then you think. You need to get over this."

I clenched my jaw in anger. There was nothing I could do. These people controlled my life a lot more then I thought.

"Zack seriously leave now."

"Not until you talk to me."

"Talk to you? Okay, how about I feel like killing myself. What is even the point of me existing? What is even the point of having a child you care little about? What is the point of any of this Zack? Huh? Tell me?" Tears we're running down my cheeks as I stared Zack in the face. He was speechless as I thought he would be.

Slipping on my shoes I grabbed my phone and a jacket and left the house in a sprint. If Zack stopped me I would attack him. I absolutely hate this... What is the point?