The Hope of Scotland

~3~

Memories. That's what plagued his mind at that moment. From William, to Agnes, to Mary and Elizabeth and of course all the wars and death he had witnessed all his years. The rise of nations and empires along with the falls of them. He couldn't get past them, the heartache he felt with them as well.

The thought of having a capital both thrilled him and scared the fuck out of him. He really didn't know what to do with the fact either. All his siblings were crawling up his ass to speak more with her, yet he could barely face her. He felt like an ass for that night and the fact that she was in his house and he didn't properly introduce himself or make her feel welcome; yes, he was a total ass for that.

"You still moping in here?" he heard Connor say to him.

"Don't ya have anyone else to bother?"

"No, only you since you are acting like a baby."

"I'm not."

"Then go find the girl."

"Cha bhi."

"Oh, now you're using Gaelic to reply, dick." he heard him snicker.

"It's harder than you believe." he told the man.

"It would be when the girl thinks you want nothing to do with her." he heard someone else say.

Turning around, he saw Carine and Arthur enter the room, both giving a scowl of displeasure, "What are ya talking about?"

"The night when you were told that Genesis was sailing outside ours and the Nordics' water boarders, you and I talked about it and then I spoke that she was there in the house. Do you remember what you said afterwards?"

Shit, he did. "Bloody hell."

"I won't gain a capital." Carine mimicked him, "A bastard like me won't get one."

"Alright I fucked up, happy?"

"I'd be happier if you went and spoke to the woman." she snapped at him.

"Easier said than done as some would say."

"How so?" Arthur questioned, "Weren't you the one that tried to give me advice for talking to Juliet?"

"That's not the point Artie."

"Then what is, Allister?"

He stayed silent. He hated showing weakness to them. He was the oldest, had to stay strong for that reason and make sure his family was taking care of and that no issues came to view for them.

"Not talking then?" Carine asked.

"I have reason." he said, taking another inhale of the stick.

"For the love of all that's holy Al, just tell us." Connor demanded.

He couldn't hold it back anymore, "I'm terrified alright?!"

The three of them just stood there, eyes wide and mouth hung open as he stood up and walked to the window, looking at the light drizzle of the rainy day over his city. It was the truth, he was afraid.

"Allister?"

"I'm scared. For every time I've ever gotten close to someone, they die. It doesn't matter who they were or what role they played, they always died. I don't know about you three but I can't live it again. It's driving me insane just sitting here and knowing what I do."

"But Al, they were all mortal-"

"So? Have you ever thought of the chance that things may not go according to plan? What if she doesn't fully change or she reacts to it or something? What if she doesn't want to be a capital and ends up committing? Or if she makes the change and we have a babe, what if she doesn't make it through that or the child?"