Paper Planes

Goodbye

How to say goodbye: A Guide

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You lie awake at night and think of every possible way.

The nicest, easiest way.

But it never comes, all the ways sit in the back of your head like, evil, little thoughts.

Laughing, mocking, and tearing at your heart.

You try to cry, but no tears appear.

They sit behind your eyes, you will be too drained to cry.

So don't even try.

You'll be tired, so tired.

You will sleep, but no amount of sleep will make your exhaustion disappear.

So you stare into space.

At the market, work, school, home, and anywhere else.

Your life will drag by, seeming to drag you along.

You will stop eating, you'll have no appetite.

Food? What is food?

Finally, you'll write a letter. Pouring every ounce of your heart out.

At the end you'll write, "bye for now."

But the letter will sit in the console of your car for months.

One day, you'll take it out.

You will burn those words, hoping that maybe all the emotions will disappear too.

Because you still love him.

You couldn't hurt him.

But he keeps hurting you.

So you'll sit in the shower, letting scolding hot water run down your spine.

You'll think about him all the time, and you'll still want to say bye.

Then, finally, after months of suffering.

You will go numb.

It's a terrible feeling.

The only thing you will feel is anger.

Anger towards him for making you feel this way.

And one day, you'll see him, after plans that he made.

You'll walk up to him, and you'll find strength somewhere within yourself.

You won't have any idea where it came from.

You will look him in the eyes you used to be in love with.

You'll whisper to him, and he will know, almost immediately.

He will begin to panic, but you have to keep strong.

He will say things to make you stay, don't listen.

You deserve better.

Better, so much better.

He will cry, and your face will remain stone. Because you are numb, he made you feel this way.

You'll whisper it again, "goodbye."

And you'll walk away, and in the first time in months you'll cry.

You'll sob, break down, and you'll feel like puking.

But it's done, you did it.

It's like a huge weight has been lifted.

Later you will feel sad.

But know, this was the right thing to do.