ONCE: stories of what could have been and what should have been.

Wedding bells

"And you'll never know how much a person matters to you until you lose them... forever."

"Edward, are you sure about this? I mean, are you ready to see her walking down the aisle?" Asked Marco. He has been my best friend for six years ever since we got inside the PBB house.

"Yes, I'm sure, man. I'm just not sure if I can hold back my tears. She have always dreamed of getting married and seeing her happy makes me really happy." I said while plastering a smile.

"Okay then. See you at the lounge. Don't be late, Edward John. Okay? You wouldn't want to see your best friend disappointed again."

I looked at myself in the mirror while fixing my tie. Emotions of fear and doubts are slowly singing inside my head. Can I really do this? Am I ready for this?
I picked up the frame right beside me. It was Marydale and I when we were performing in Singapore. I remember it so well as if it was yesterday, her fingers intertwined with mine as we sing to the rhythm of our favorite song, "Baliw". The smile on her face during our performance could lighten up the whole venue. I couldnt even stop myself from smiling.

I was caught off guard when my phone rung. It was a phone call from Yong.
"Edward, where are you? The wedding's about to start. You and Marco should be here by 10 minutes"
"Okay, we're coming Yong. Sorry for the delay. We'll be there in 5 minutes."
I placed back the frame above the drawer and rushed off to the wedding venue.

While Marco and I were heading to the venue. I can't help but to think of her - My May. How happy we were back then. How she openly shares her stories to me at 3am while we cling into the same blanket under the stars. How she loses herself every time she sees celebrities. How she motivates me every time I do not believe in myself. - I found myself smiling with the idea of seeing her walking down that aisle. She would probably be the most beautiful bride I will ever lay my eyes on.
"Edward, we're here." Marco said in a jiff.
"Ah, oh, yes" I stuttered in words.

This was the church that Marydale talked to me about. The church where she wants to get married in the future, and now, she is finally living her dreams. A long red carpet is placed at the aisle with petals of her favorite flowers scattered all around the place. The church, decorated with ornaments of carnation and violets. Everything was set for a beautiful bride like Marydale.

I couldnt help but to feel at awe how time flew so fast. It was like yesterday when she said that she wants her wedding gown embroidered with laces. That it would make her feel happy if she sees her groom at the altar, shedding tears of happiness as she walks down the aisle. I see excitement and fascination in her eyes every time she tells of weddings and happy endings.

"The wedding is about to start. Please position yourselves." I heard the cue from Kirsten, Marydale's best friend.

I quickly positioned myself near the altar and made sure that I was looking sleek as possible. I dont want to embarrass Marydale, that's for sure. As soon as I heard her favorite wedding song, "Beautiful in White", my cheeks dampened with tears. She have told me how much she loves this song and how much she wants to hear this on her wedding day.
Doors of the church opened and I can't stop myself from staring. Laid before my eyes was the most beautiful bride I have ever seen. Her gown was exquisitely embroidered with laces and a touch of pastel tied around her waist. She wore a smile that could make all the birds sing. She was slowly walking down the aisle and signs of genuine happiness are prominent.

As she was drawing closer to the altar, I couldnt hold it back anymore, I cried tears more than I ever had in my entire life. I am bound to lose a part of myself and I know that I can never have her back, ever again.
Her fingers intertwined with another man. She used to hold my hand like that. Like a child clinging to her mother. She used to caress my hand every time I'm in fear, but now, she's doing it with another man.