ONCE: stories of what could have been and what should have been.

The Vow

"And when you have no one, remember that you have me, always."

P.S: sabaw. I told you guys I'm not good with kilig chuchu. Gusto ko yung nakakasakit ng damdamin HAHAHAHAHA

"i promise to take care of Maymay"
These 7 words suddenly blurted out from my mouth like it was meant to be spoken when I saw Maymay, fragile and tormented. I have always seen her smiling and being the sunshine of everyone inside the house and seeing her in pain makes me want to take a part of her burden. I know I have only known Maymay for a few months but there's something about her that I automatically gravitate towards her and I know that it's something I can't explain.

It was the night of August 6 when I came by to see her in the kitchen sink doing the dishes. It was as if someone pushed me towards her to give her a hug. I knew she didn't expect it but so do I, silly me, hugging a girl on their first encounter but I don't know why, but it made me smile. Yes, it did. She asked for my name with that infectious smile that unlikely made me smile. "Maymay." So, Maymay was her name. The idea of calling her, "My May" made me smile from the inside.

The next day, I've heard that more girls are coming inside the house. I've got to admit, it got me excited like a child waiting for his' favorite candy. Just like any typical teenage boy, meeting other girls exhilarates me. They are all beautiful in their own ways, but, amidst the crowd, I guess my eyes still look for Maymay. And there she is, talking excitedly to other girl housemates, less did she know that she's also making me smile.

I knew by then that Maymay was special and she was not like the other girls. She was different in a way that it can make me smile. When I picked her as my promball date, I know my heart was leaping in joy. I had to ask her to be my date and I've got to admit, my spine was shivering down the edge. The night of the prom, as I saw her walking down that red carpet with her hair neatly tied, I can't help but to paint a smile on my face. Everything around turned into a blur and Maymay was all that I see. Weird but it was as if I'm the groom at the end of the altar waiting for his bride to arrive. I quickly snuffed that idea off my head. "No, Edward. He's just a friend. Just your Ate" I tried to calm down myself. And again for the second time, amidst the crowd of garden, Maymay was still the most beautiful one I've ever laid my eyes on.

I started to realize that what I had for Maymay was more than just a simple admiration but I think she only sees me as a friend. Maymay was someone I could never afford to lose and the safest way to keep her on my side is to love her as a friend.

I told Heaven that I like her, but at the back of my head, I know I was making a fool out of myself. Deceiving myself with the idea that maybe, I can snuff out the idea of Maymay and I, but when she started to avoid me out of the confession I made, frustrations start to build up. Was it the right choice? As she tries her hardest to avoid me, the more painful it gets.

God knows how much I respect and care for Maymay and not talking to her is like a year of darkness. She was the only girl who can make me smile from ear to ear and I wouldn't want it the other way. I wanted to make her feel that she has me and she will always have me. I may have confessed to another girl housemate but deep inside I know, that I'm happier when I am with Maymay. Maybe because I wanted to keep her that much, I'd rather want to make a fool out of myself. Stupid, I know but she was all that I need and losing her just because I love her would be one of my biggest mistakes.

So, when I saw Maymay grieving in pain after losing her Papa Joe, I swore to everyone to always take care of her and to always make her happy. It all started out as a simple promise and more of a responsibility but now that I've grown closer to Maymay, I know that I have to take care of her, not because I need to but because I want to.

Maymay saved my life inside PBB. She was my saving grace during the days I wanted to give up. She saved me when I was so close to drowning. She was my source of strength every time I start to get weak. Her smiles, her laughs, her voice - they are enough to get me through to survive the hardest days at PBB. I couldn't imagine a life without her on my side. Her happiness have become my happiness. If this isn't love then I don't know what this is. Maymay - one of the weirdest girls I've ever met is now the reason behind my biggest smiles and my loudest laugh. And if you'd open up my heart, you'd see Maymay at the largest space in my heart.

It's been a year since I met Maymay and everyday with her has never been this exciting. Out of all the other girls, I've met in life. I guess Maymay already tops the list and if God allows, I want her to be the one I'll spend the rest of my life with. I know it took me a long time to realize who I truly wanted to be with but my heart knows right from the start that it was Maymay, it has always been Maymay and it will always be Maymay.