Come into the Light

Once Upon another time

Chapter Eight

Once upon another time

"Will you marry me?" As soon as the words came out of his mouth my breathing stopped suddenly. Did I hear him right?

"What?" I asked, in shock. I could not have heard correctly. Benedict simply smiled as if expecting the reaction.

"Meg Giry, will you marry me?" Benedict repeated his question in the middle of the restaurant we were sitting in. As I looked down at the exquisite ring in the middle of the table, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think and even worse... I couldn't answer. I did not know what my answer was. Erik's words from a few hours earlier were still ringing in my head and now Ben was asking me to marry him. How could I answer? I don't even know what my heart wants yet.

"Meg?" Benedict asked me after a few seconds of my own thoughts running around in my head. I looked up at him, his green eyes expectant of my answer. I saw with each passing second of my silence, his smile deflating and his eyes losing their spark. I know that this was not the reaction he was expecting.

"I... I don't know." I whispered, my eyes filling with tears as I saw Ben's smile fall completely.

"You don't know? Is that your answer?" Ben asked in a sad tone but I could sense his unbelief as well.

"Yes. I'm sorry Ben; I know that's not the answer you're expecting."

"No, it really is not at all, Meg." Ben's eyes looked away from me in shame, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment as he started to take the small box with the ring in it off the table.

"I'm sorry... I'm just a bit confused at the moment."

"So am I. I thought we felt the same." Ben whispered steadily. I could tell he was mad but as always the man was a picture of calmness.

"We do. Of course, I do. I love you Ben but-"

"But? But what?" Ben asked firmly. I looked around at the people sitting around us and our exchange was going quite unnoticed, thankfully. I couldn't help but think if this was Erik, instead of Ben, he would have already caused a scene with his temper.

"But some things have changed." I said as I looked down at my hands not wanting him to see my tears. I don't want him to feel bad because of me. I deserve no pity from him, at all.

"What do you mean?" Ben asked. I closed my eyes and I felt the pressure of salty tears running down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away and dreaded what I was going to answer because it was not an answer Ben deserved.

"I... I cannot tell you." I barely whispered and held my gaze on my hands on my lap.

"What do you mean you cannot tell me?! Meg, I do not understand any of this." Ben answered and now I could sense the anger in his voice. He deserves an answer but if I gave him it, I would have to reveal Erik's identity and I would never do that.

"All I can really tell you is that... my past has caught up with me and with it came feelings I thought were long forgotten. But they were not."

"Have you been seeing someone else?" A hurtful shock came into his eyes that almost made me want to kiss it away. I stretched my hand towards his on the other side of the table and was grateful that he didn't push it away.

"No, no I have not. I just want to make sure that those feelings are behind me... forever. Because you do not deserve half a heart from me, Ben; you deserve all of me."

After a long silence, I thought Ben was about to storm out from the restaurant but he never did. Ben simply squeezed my hand and kissed it.

"Although I don't completely understand everything that you're telling me or what you feel; I will give you time to think it over."