Come into the Light

Back to the Old Ways

Chapter Seven

Back to the Old Ways

I arrived to the Ballet School, early like I usually did, my mind flooded with Erik's words. I've been trying to avoid him; I left this morning before he was even awake to come to work. I admit that was a bit cowardly but I just did not know what to do with my heart or how I felt. Because I couldn't deny that I still loved Erik... but I couldn't deny either that I love Benedict as well. The real question was: Who do I love more?

"Meg!" Benedict's voice snapped me away from my thoughts as I stretched before my class in an hour.

"Ben, Good Morning." I couldn't look up at him, slightly ashamed, remembering that I almost let myself make love to Erik with him standing at the other side of the door.

"How are you, Mon amour?" His sweet name for me was like a knife to my chest. I didn't deserve to be called that by him.

"I am fine, Ben, why?"

"I was worried about you last night. I even went up to your apartment to look for you and knocked at your door, did you not hear me?"

"I did not. I am sorry, my darling I—I fell asleep rather quickly and you know how I get when I'm asleep. I am dead to the world." I said quickly, wanting to sound like I wasn't lying.

"No, I don't know how you are in bed. You have not given me the honor." He whispered to me in a small grin. He cupped my face and leaned me close to him. "I would gladly love to find out." He whispered close to my lips as he kissed me, surprising me greatly. His soft lips moved gently against mine and I couldn't help but smile in between kisses. Benedict could always make me forget my troubles and break down my walls rather quickly. But as soon as I leaned back and opened my eyes to look up at him I realized something... something rather dreadful. My heart rate was normal, my cheeks were not flushed and I did not feel a lifetime full of longing for this man.

"Well, you promised that you would wait." I whispered back as I let him wrap his arms around my waist.

"I know. I don't regret that promise. I will wait as long as I need to, Mon amour."

I tried not to let my face drop as his words reminded me of Erik's confession of the night before. I took a deep breath and tried not to let the tears I felt forming to show.

"I know and I thank you for that." I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and embraced him, not wanting him to see my watery eyes.

"There is something else I wished to speak to you about." He told me as his chin rested on my head. "I admit that I needed your strength before I could." That worried me.

"What is it?" I asked leaning back and looking up at him.

"I have some bad news for the School. I was just told before you arrived."

"What is it, Ben?" I asked again a little more anxiously. Benedict was scaring me.

"The School... might be closing down."

"What!? Why?!"

"My patrons have all backed out, suddenly, refusing to fund the school anymore. I don't even know why, they have denied to tell me." Benedict said in his usual calm voice. It always impressed me how collected Ben could be even when surrounded by storms of trouble. It was something that was always attractive to me about him.

In a way, when I met him, it was refreshing to me. It was such a relief for me after so many years of having to face Erik's unpredictable rages and moods; where the usual calm one would be me and sometimes my Mother, when both I and Erik would get roused up. But now with Erik back in my life, I've realized how much I missed that fire and how Erik lit it up in me.