Krasivaya

Part 2

You wait patiently at your favorite cafe for Bucky to show. It had become a tradition that every Sunday you and Bucky would meet for brunch and catch up on each others lives. Life could get hectic as an Avenger, often seeing you parted for weeks on end, so the ritual had been born out of necessity before becoming a simple pleasure. It was a bright spot in your week, a reason to get dolled up, and garnered you Bucky's undivided attention for more than ten minutes at a time. Maybe it was kind of desperate, maybe it hurt as much as you loved it, but you wouldn't trade that quiet time with Bucky for anything in the world. Especially now.

Bucky and Melissa had been growing ever closer over the last week. Bucky had been paying less attention to the other people in his life, and, after a stern talking to by Steve, you were roped into broaching the subject with the metal armed soldier. Steve figured coming from you, it would carry more weight, and wouldn't end up with Bucky growing defensive, or giving you the gears about being jealous that he had a girl when Steve didn't. You wanted to kill Cap for making you do this, but... his distance was beginning to hurt team dynamics, so you'd reluctantly agreed.

The only problem was he was late.

You had been sitting in the cafe for a good forty five minutes, and were starting to get sympathetic looks from the other patrons. Taking out your phone, you send a text to Bucky, inquiring about his whereabouts. Another ten minutes went by and still no answer was forthcoming. Fidgeting with the edge of your coffee cup, you debate whether or not to give this up as a bad idea and go home. Bucky obviously had better things to do.

You should have known, or at least asked him if you were still on for the date. Biting back the tears forming in your eyes, you flag down the waitress and ask for the bill. The pity written on her face has you feeling even worse. Throwing down some money, you hastily exit the cafe.

Ducking into an alley, you sink down onto the garbage strewn ground, finally letting the traitorous tears fall.

He'd stood you up. The realization is devastating, drawing up all the old hurts and fears you've struggled with since meeting one James Buchanan Barnes.

Anger replaces heartbreak. Tears dry up. The sharp sting of rejection fresh in your psyche. You weren't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you broken. It wasn't his fault you were this... this lump of uselessness.

He was too good for you. Too pure. Too handsome. He belonged with someone like Melissa. It was time you accepted it.

Picking yourself off the floor, you reach inside your handbag, pull out a compact and try desperately to fix your face. You square your shoulders, and set out to make the long trek home, resolved to keep your distance from Sergeant Barnes.

The walk does you a little good, helping you put things in perspective. It clears the stuffiness of tears from your head at least. The bustle of the city moving around you, carrying on as if your world hadn't just crashed to ashes at your feet, helps soothe some of your anxious soul. Life moved on, and so would you. Or, so you tried to convince yourself, but the lies you tell yourself are always the hardest to believe.

Exiting the elevator, you stride into the common room only to hear the giggling of Melissa and Bucky from the couch. He's crouched above her, tickling her while she squeals in delight.

It makes you feel physically sick to watch them together. Lips curling in disgust, you stealthily try and make a hasty exit, but super soldier hearing foils your plan.

"Krasivaya? Where have you been?" Bucky pipes up from the couch, a wide smile plastered on his face as Melissa breathes heavily underneath him.

You stare at him for a full ten seconds before you realize he truly didn't remember he was supposed to meet you. "I was at the Cafe," you reply, voice as neutral as you can make it.

The smile slips off his face as realization dawns on him. He scrambles upright, leaping over the back of the couch, ignoring the indignant squeak coming from Melissa. "Shit, (Y/N)! I completely spaced!" Regret is written clearly on his face.

You shrug him off. "It's not a big deal. Don't worry about it."

He scoffs, "Of course it is! I bailed on ya!"

He reaches to grab your hand, a gesture done so often in the past it's become second nature. You flinch away from him, taking a step back, you can't handle having him touch you. The surprise in his face quickly morphs into one of hurt.

"Krasivaya.." he pleads.

You shake your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, willing the action to keep you together long enough to make a hasty exit to find Steve or Nat or maybe just fucking run as far away as you can from this shit storm.

Bucky takes a deep breath, putting that charming lopsided grin on his face. The one that he knows will get you to do anything. Two weeks ago it would have worked. "Why don' we hang out a lil' later? Mel has to go home soon anyway, so I'll be all yours."

Anger makes an unwelcome appearance again. Now that his precious Mel was leaving he wanted to spend time with you? Fuck no! Squaring your shoulders, you raise yourself to your full height, which wasn't all that impressive if you were being honest.

You look him straight in the eye. "No thank you, Sergeant Barnes. I have a date with a super soldier that actually wants to spend time with me."

He looks stunned for a minute before he replies with a, "Sergeant?" confusion etched in his face. "(Y/N), I don't understand why you're acting this way."

A small, despairing laugh spills from your lips. "I'm not acting any way. I've just come to some hard realizations is all. Some painful truths." Turning to go, you pause, hand resting on the doorframe. "You did stand me up, though. Left me for forty-five minutes to become that girl that everyone whispers and stares at, pitying because she was too stupid to realize the man she was waiting on wasn't coming."

The pain and self-loathing you're fighting manifests in a wave of power that causes the lights to flicker. It sends Melissa scrambling into the corner of the couch, her fear evident. Pleasure in the reaction streaks through you followed swiftly by guilt.

Exhaling slowly, you crack a false smile. "But don't worry about it, sarge. It's forgiven. You and Mel have a nice evening." With a nod, you stride down the hall, ignoring Bucky when he calls your name.

Stupid, stupid delusional girl. What did you think was going to happen? That he would just miraculously fall for you? You were kidding yourself. Willing yourself to believe that you were worthy of a man like James Barnes. It just made you hate yourself more.