Krasivaya

Part 7

Translations

Zabud' ob etom- Leave it alone

mne malo- I am not enough

Kak eto ispravit-How do i fix it?

Stepping out of your room, armoured thickly against the people you love, you stride into the kitchen. The entire team is assembled, fighting over breakfast as usual. You ignore it, wanting to get down to the gym as fast as possible, but not wanting a lecture on nutrition from Steve you whip up a makeshift breakfast.

"Mornin, baby girl," Steve greets, making a grab at you.

You avoid his grasp.

He recoils as if stung. "(Y/N)?" he questions, eyes wide and searching.

You ignore the look of hurt on his face as you try and squeeze between Sam and Tony. "Move up please, T," you murmur.

He shuffles over quickly as Melissa snickers and comments, "Can't even get her fat ass into a chair."

The entire room falls silent as all eyes snap to her. There's a ringing in your ears, Mortification and anger simmering underneath the surface.

"Rein in your bitch, Barnes, before I do it for you!" Nat snaps at him. She whirls on Melissa. "I will rip you to pieces if you speak to her again, even look at her again!" she snarls, eyes burning with rage.

You always seem to ruin the simplest of things. Not even breakfast was safe from the ugliness you brought with you. "Sestra," you whisper, "Zabud' ob etom."

She turns to face you, disbelief written plainly on her face. "Why do you do that? Why do you brush off every insult they seem to throw at you?" she all but screams, rising to slam her hands down on the table, leaning over it, as close to you as she can get without climbing over it..

Rising from your chair, breakfast forgotten in the wake of your rapidly plummeting stomach, you shrug. "Mne malo," you state firmly, completely missing the heartbreak on Bucky's face.

Head down, avoiding all eye contact, you escape to the gym. Maybe beating the hell out of something for the next few hours would fill the void which just kept growing in your soul.

Bucky's POV

He's dumbfounded. Floundering.

"What did she say?" Steve asks nervously, his eyes boring into Bucky's.

"She said she's not enough," he answers simply, staring into his plate. He knew he'd hurt you. He knew distancing himself from you so he didn't have to see you with Steve was a stupid move. He regretted it. It had guilt gnawing at him.

Melissa snorts a laugh beside him, not even trying to hide it.

He explodes into action, jerking to his feet so fast, his chair goes over backwards with a crash. "Get the fuck out!"

"Baby?" she squeaks, paling at the sudden anger directed towards her

"Get. The. Fuck. Out! You aren't welcome here anymore. What the fuck is wrong with you talkin' to other people like that?" grinding his teeth together "This is done. We're over"

Nat is beside him in an instant. "You heard him. Get out before I make you. Or better yet, stay. I'd really like to make you leave." She smiles her widow smile, the one which has the others flinching.

Melissa rises to her full height, her eyes darting between himself and Nat, before they settle on him. "You're gonna regret this, James."

He snorts in derision. "I don think so, lady. Leave."

She glares at everyone before stalking out, slamming every door she can gets her hands on as she goes.

He groans out loud. Fuck he's a mess. What the hell was he playing at? Jesus, Barnes, he thinks. Guess you could take the words out of his head, but the monster still remained.

"You have to fix this, Bucky," Natalia says as she quirks a brow. "You're paired with (Y/N) on a two week mission. Neither of you can afford to be distracted."

Rubbing his flesh hand across his eyes he murmurs, "Kak eto ispravit'?"

Natasha smirks and shrugs. "You're a big boy, Barnes. Figure it out."

He turns to face the rest of the team, ashamed of his behaviour, of the woman he'd allowed into his life, the woman who'd helped drive this wedge between himself and everyone else. He doesn't even know where to start in his apology, but he knows who he needs to speak to first.

Wanda pipes up quietly, "She's in the gym."

He nods once, determined to make you understand what a collosal ass hat he was.

Your POV

You were working yourself hard, sweat pouring down your back, and hairline. You had a mission. You had people to protect. An evil mad scientist to destroy. You needed to get your shit together. It was an undercover op for which you had yet to find out whom your partner would be. Hopefully Steve.

It would be a desperately needed respite from the tension in the compound. You needed the time to clear your head. To build up your defenses against him. To mourn the loss of friendship and love without having his new relationship shoved in your face every time you entered a room.

You hear the footsteps. You know that gaite, have scrutinized it for years. Sighing you begin unwrapping your hands. "What do you want, Barnes?" You swear you can hear him swallow.

"I came to apologize. I was such a dick... I don know how to explain it, doll."

You freeze, the hope flaring in your chest unwelcome.

"I'm your mission partner, doll, and we need ta clear the air."

You fight the urge to scoff. Of course he wouldn't want to apologize because he wanted to be a friend or a lover, he just didn't want to compromise the mission. Was this some sort of sick joke? You were going to murder Maria.

Taking a calming breath, you nod once. "Apology accepted. It won't affect the mission." Trying to sound businesslike, when all you really want to do is crawl into a ball or into him, is harder than you thought it would be.

His brow furrows in confusion, an expression that had always been way too adorable for his own good. "Wha? No.. I meant.."

Forcing a smile to your face, you address him before he can speak "Truly, James, it's fine. I'm fine. I'll be as professional as I can. None of our personal issues will feature." Laughing lightly you forge on, "I'm just sorry you have to be stuck on a mission with me for two weeks." Looking everywhere but at him, you clear your throat. "I need a change of scenery. I'll see you later." You make to move past him, needing to get away before you shatter into shards at his feet.

"Krasivaya.." he whispers, hand outstretched.

You tense, a wave of emotion tearing through you, causing you to falter slightly as you stride forward. You pretend you hadn't heard him, knowing full well you aren't fooling him, but you don't have the emotional capacity to deal with a guilty Bucky Barnes right now.

It's gone balls up, the damage is irreparable.

And it was all... your... fault.