Dear Harry (Harry Styles Fanfic)

Ch. 15

Dear Harry,

Things have been hectic around here. I am trying to do so many different things at once. Who knew how much work went in to planning a wedding?

I don’t want to write down a lot of the details because I want to tell you in person, but I will still fill you in on a little bit. 

I went back to the bridal shop and tried on dozens and dozens of dresses. Each dress I tried on, I would waltz in front of the huge three-way mirror and inspect every last detail. I know you couldn’t care less about what I am going to wear, but I just want to make sure everything is perfect for you. Once everything was heavily scrutinized, I would shut my eyes, and imagine what I would look like standing across from you, two feet away, counting down the seconds until I would say the highly anticipated “I do.” All I could think about was how handsome you would look in your freshly ironed tux- or perhaps just a suit- with your hair combed away from your bronze face. I imagined how you’d be looking straight at me, your green eyes barely taking the chance to blink. Our hands would be locked, with your thumb rubbing circles on the inside of my palm and your bottom lip would be in between your teeth- a nervous habit you have had since elementary school. 

I know I keep writing about what it will be like to finally stand at the altar with you, but it is literally the only thing I think about all day... and in my dreams.

Anyway, after trying on dress after dress, I managed to find the perfect one. Although every dress was so incredibly beautiful, the one I chose was above and beyond. It isn’t too revealing or glitzy… It’s just so elegant in the most simple way possible. I am so excited for you to see it, although I’m holding out until the moment I walk down the aisle.

Besides the dress, most of the major factors are squared away, but I still have to write my vows. Coming from a small family, I haven’t been to many weddings so I don’t really know what to write. I asked the lady at the bridal shop, and she just told me to write what I felt for you. If only it was that easy. I wish I could put into words how you make me feel. There are over one million terms in the english language and I am still at a loss of words for this feeling I have whenever I think of you. Writing this journal has been one of the hardest things I have ever done because it is impossible to string together something as plain and boring as words to describe something as exuberant and alluring and peculiar as you. The sensation that overwhelms my body and erects billions of goosebumps all over my skin and invites a warm flush of color to my cheeks can not be spelled out or put down on paper. The moment I think about you, or when I spot your favorite shirt in the drawers, or look at one of the thousands of pictures of us, or take of whiff of your favorite cologne, it is as if the whole world turns inside out and upside down. Nothing makes sense, with you Harry, and yet everything is perfect at the same time. You are a walking paradox, sickly sweet yet sensually spicy. Your smell warms up my body like an oven while your voice sends chills down my spine. 

Now you see my struggle, and now you may see why it will be even harder to write vows. How on earth do I write my feelings for you, in just a few words, to say not only to you, but also in front of all of our friends and family? Even now, after all these years, I can’t talk to you without all my words turning into a big bowl a mush. You have this curse on me, something so strong and yet no one feels it but us. Even when you are halfway around the globe, I can still feel your presence, I still am drawn to you like two magnets being brought closer together. 

I am going to attempt to write these vows, right in this journal, so you know that these few sentences cannot contain the colossal amount of love I have for you. Hopefully you’ll understand why there is nothing I can say nor do that would be able to shed the slightest bit of light on what you mean to me.

My Vows:

Harry, I promise to love and care for you, and I will try in every way to be worthy of your love. 

I will always be honest with you, kind, patient and forgiving.

I will always be here with open arms, open ears, and open heart.

You will always be the only one for me, forever.

I promise that I’ll be the best wife I can be, and I will incessantly be faithful and loyal to you.

I will be here for you as a spouse, a friend, and a lover.

I promise to never stop loving you, from now, until eternity.

I promise you’ll be mine and I’ll be yours until death, and forever and ever after that.

The only thing that is getting me by is that in a few short months, we will be together again. Just the thought of your sweet aroma makes me want to start leaping with joy. Every night I pray that I could be like the cowboys from the shows we watched when we were younger- I wish I could throw a lasso around wherever you are this very moment, and pull you back where you belong…with me. 

Sometimes when I feel the usual pit in my throat and tears in my eyes, I flip through the pages of this journal and glance at what I have written. I reread our story over and over some nights before I go to sleep. It is unbelievable how much we have gone through, and how much you have helped me. In the few years I walked on this earth before we met, I hadn’t known how empty I had been. It was as if I was a puzzle piece, unbeknownst to me, searching for my match. I am not whole without you, and I knew it the moment I laid eyes on you that you were special.

I know I say it every time I write, but I need to give you recognition for making my life so spectacular. Thank you, Harry, for being my best friend, and my angel. Without you I am nothing, and you have no idea how much that scares me.

Sleep tight, Har, and please be safe.

With so much love,

Ella Wella

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**I'M SO SORRY FOR NEVER UPDATING, I PROMISE I'LL HAVE SOME NEW CHAPTERS FOR YOU VERY VERY SOON. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!

I LOVE YOU ALL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MUCH OK  

xx Aly**