Crashed Love

O.M.G.

I raise my head, doing the sign of the cross three times over my heart, praying hard for the bus driver's soul.
I missed one. I can't believe I missed someone. My mom turns to me and gives me a hug.
"I'll be home in a few" I pull away and smile at her as Shawn and Sasha hug my legs "you make sure this Josh kid keeps his hands to himself and remember--"
"There is two cans of pepper spray in my room, and pens" I giggle "Josh is a innocent guy, mom. He's harmless"
My mom nods and I kiss the tornado twins on their foreheads. As I leave the church, I stop for a chat here and there with old woman I don't care to remember the names of and creepy old men who've apparently known me all my life.
When I finally get to my car, I drive home, keeping an eyes on the time. Josh is driving down today and I really want to get out of these clothes before he comes.
Not because the clothes are bad, it's because if I don't get the chance to change, I'll have to sit there, legs tightly closed in my skirt and uncomfortably warm shirt.
I get home and change into a tank top and a pair of pyjama shorts and pull my hair up then chill in my living room.
   As I sit and watch TV I fix my pony tail a few times. Since I straighten it for church every Sunday I always feel like there's not enough hair on my head, the thing suddenly feeling loose.
   I hear a knock at the door and get up to open it. Josh smiles down at me as I see him.
   He gives me a once over and his smile turns into a smirk "I don't think I've ever seen you so comfy"
I give him a sarcastic smile, cocking my eyebrow "hi to you too, come in"
   He walks in and takes his shoes off at the door "wow, a guy with manners. I thought they died with the dinosaurs" I say.
   He smiles again as I close the door "I'll take that as your date with Abel went bad"
   I shake my head "nope, you don't get special treatment, Josh. None of my friends get to know how the dates went till after I match the nice guy"
   I turn around and head to the stairs "my laptops is up stairs in my room. That's where we'll be working, if you don't mind" I say as I fix my pony tail again.
   He shakes his head, slings his back pack over his shoulder and follows me up, into my room.
   "Now, if you want snacks, your gonna have to fend for yourself. I don't cook. So the kitchen is like right beside the entrance if you didn't notice it" I say pulling my work chair in front of my bed.
   I sit on my bed and cross my legs "sit" I say.
   He sits on the chair and I pull my side table with my laptop on it closer to us.
   "You don't cook?"
   "No"
   "Really?"
"I have a mom; why would I need to cook if she's gonna do it anyways"
   Josh smirks at me "you sure that's the reason?"
   I shrug "what's wrong with my reason?"
   "Well, I mean you save people's lives and you're an active love guru at school, yet at the same time you're a professional mean girl and a natural pessimist and then your also a secret brain but outwardly sarcastic to your teachers so no one knows"
   I shrug again "would you like me to cook for you, Josh?"
   He laughs, shaking his head as I once again fix my ponytail.
   I grab my book and stick my pen in my mouth as I watch him grab his "so what are we working on again?" I ask.
   "Uh, spiders, they're a pretty cool topic" he says.
"Yeah right, I had a pet spider once. It died a month ago, of old age other then that, the thing was pretty boring" I say with a little smile.
   His right eyebrow cocks up "you had a spider as a pet?"
"Yeah, what of it?" I say a too defensively.
   "You just seem like the type to crush a bug the minute you see them"
"Listen, Josh, just because I don't live up to my stereotype at home, doesn't mean I'm not just what you think I am"
   "But why a spider?"
   I sigh and place my pen down "why should I be scared of a spider or a lion when something so much more threatening could be living right next door"
"Like what, a dog?" he says trying to laugh off my seriousness.
   I smirk at him, trying to hide my sadness "just never mind, I sound stupid" I feel my ponytail loosen again, this time taking it out and letting it fall on my left shoulder.
"You look different with straight hair" he says.
I look at Josh and notice he's staring at me with a calm face, his eyes tracing over my face, my hair, my bare shoulder.
   I take him in as well, his half parted lip, his lazy boy hair cut, his strong broad shoulders.
   It was weird, it was like I could read his mind, like I knew what he's thinking. I didn't mind that train of thought; in fact, it was echoing in my mind--
   No! Not my type, he's not my type, I chant in my head. He's just a friend.
  "What kind of spider we looking at?" I mumble.
  He leans in closer to me and clicks a button on my laptop, bringing it to life "how about you look up the different types of spiders while I go grabs us some water. You have water bottles?"
   "Yeah, in the fridge" He stands and the pressure leaves with him.
   I let out a sigh as I stretch out on my bed. My eyes stay fixated on the ceiling though my brain keeps telling me to do the work, search for spiders.
I take a deep breath and let my body calm down, my heart, my hands, my stomach and then sit up and type 'types of interesting spiders' into Google.
   The list of web addresses pops up on the screen and I click the first link just as Josh walks back in. He places the bottles down on the side table and sits on the computer chair. I scroll down the page and notice, with complete interest, that one is called a mirror spider.
   "Nah, nope" Josh says.
I look at him confused "what?"
"Keep scrolling"
"What! Why?"
"I'm not doing a report on a bug that looks like jewelry"
"Oh come on! It's so cute"
"Nah, keep scrolling" he says.
   I stare at him in defiance and he smiles in disbelief.
   Josh stands, sitting beside me on the bed and tries to scroll the page but I grab his hand "come on, keep scrolling!"
   He tries to reach for the laptop with his other hand but I grab that one too.
   "Really?"
   "I want to write about the mirror spider"
"Victoria, let go of my hands" he chuckles.
   "Listen, Josh. I always get what I want and I don't play games so we will write a paper on the mirror--" And then he kisses me.
   I stare at him, surprised but too shocked to do any thing else. His lips cork up into a smirk and I let go of his hands.
   My eyes zero on his lips this time, his inching closer to mine. I hold back, biting my lip.
   He's a friend, he's a friend, he's just a very hot friend.
   I crack, rap my arm around his neck and kiss him hard and completely. He pushes my side table away before his arms wrap around my waist and I can feel his warm hands through the thin fabric of my tank.
   I move back and lay down on the bed. It's when reason starts to seep into my brain that I try to stop him but he starts kissing my neck.
   To my surprise he hits the spot, but not just any spot, the sweet spot.
   Yup, I have a spot. Just to the back right side of my neck.
   It's a spot that sends a shiver down my spin, a spot that warms my being and turns me on and somehow he hit it.
   And this is how I find out about it.
   His hands make their way to my hips and I kiss him, biting at his lip.
   Fuck that shit about not my type, this is electrifying.
   With every kiss I lose my self more and more, getting more comfortable and wanting more.
   His hands slowly pull down the side of my shorts, but I grab his hands and pull them back up to my sides.
   He starts to pull away, but I hold tight to his shirt collar. I deepen our kiss, his tounge dancing with mine.
   I groan, making his hands tighten and his kiss more forceful. This time when his fingers hook onto my shorts, I let him pull them down and off.
I loosen his belt with one hand before I take dominance, rolling him onto his back.
   He puts his hand back on my waist, bunching up my tank.
   He stops kissing me so I tuck my hands under his shirt and pull it over his head.
   I'm easily shocked by his chiseled physique, honestly not used to getting this far with anyone.
   He takes this opportunity to get me back on the bed, pushing up my tank and kissing my stomach.
   I laugh and push him off, ready to tell him I'm not doing this when his hand does the most unthinkable thing, and rubs me.
   Not my back or my face or my skin, but down there over my embarrassingly lacy thong.
   He was using my move and it was so working. My hips move up involuntarily as he kisses my neck and I rap my arm around his neck.
"Holy shit" I whisper.
   He laughs and kisses me, his hand stopping so he can hook his arm under my leg as his one leg starts grinding against me.
   He is exactly my fucking type. Rack my hands down his side as I bit his lip then loosen his pants and they sag down to his knee.
   He lets my leg down and I feel his finger hook into my bottom of my underwear as his other leg goes between mine, parting them more.
   He pulls at my underwear and penatrates me, a welcomed sensation like nothing I've felt before.
   I grown... and hold him close to me as he pushes deeper inside me. I push away from him, letting my back touch the bed again but he starts to move, pulling me back into his world.
   I hold tightly to his torso, my nails biting in to his skin the way my teeth want to do his ear.
   "Shit, shit shit" he suddenly huffs and starts to pull away.
   I grab him by his chin and kiss him, bringing him back into my world.
   We go on like this, pulling one another back into the haze when the other gets the sense to try and leave.
   Creating two sensational worlds that complement each other oh so well. He kisses my neck, a favorite place for him and I laugh.
   But when I see the picture slid show on my laptop of my class photo and then my mom and siblings, the world comes crashing down around me and I remember everything.
"Oh shit" I push him off and pick up my clothes as I rush into my bathroom.
   I sit on top of the toilet seat, my face covered before I turn on my shower and plunge myself into the cold water, bra and underwear still on.
   The water goes through my hair as I think about what just happened.
   I can't believe I did that!
   I was having sex!
   With Josh!
   With a guy I barely know!
   With someone!
   I'm dating Abel not Josh.
   Oh god, this has never happened!
   I'm not a cheater and I'm not a sexually active person.
   I'm a tease.
   Sure I have a shit personality, but I've never been a cheater.
I don't have sex!
   I don't have sex!
   I.
   Don't.
   Have.
   Sex!
   My skin starts to crawl and my chest tightens. All that shit about him being my type... what was that?
   No one's ever my type! I've never been the type to look for a type, it's why this cupid thing was so easy for me.
   I don't trust guys, I don't trust anyone! So what the hell is wrong with me!
   What did I just do!!!